Don't leave - a Tivi Story [ON HOLD]

>13<

Sometimes Avi thought that the air around him couldn't get any thicker. The feeling of suffocation and being captured were now present, buried deep in his bones. He did not know how much longer he could hold it together anymore. Tim had placed him back onto the couch, rubbing his back in slow motions.This gesture was so innocent, so soothing and still it held so much more: Support and understanding. Someone took the time to care about you, to make sure you're alright. Avi however couldn't understand why anyone woul ever waste their precious time, given by the lord, passing faster and faster until we realized our life has ended, with him. Why would Tim care about him so much? They didn't have the same blood, nor were they friends.

"Never judge a book by its cover.There's someone under the cracked shell. A person with a heart and soul. We just have to find him."

Have you ever tried to search for a treasure without having a map or a signpost? Wandering through the forest, the branches hanging so low you got caught up in them, the mud so slippery, you would fall over and over again? And then after years of searching you would just give up and realize that the search has been useless? That's what Avi was thinking about now. It didn't matter how hard Tim would try, Avi knew deep down that he was shattered. His eyes wandered from the carpet, up towards the white wall. His own reflection, caught in a mirror, looked back at him. Hair, messy and tangled. Eyes, so dull, puffy and red, holding the sadness of years in them. Bags showing the lack of sleep and rest. His face looked shadowed and ghostly white.Skin, so pale and scarred, decorated with the faults of his past. His hands, shaking slightly, picking at his shirt constantly. A tear escaped from his eyes, rolled down his cheeks and...landed on Tim's finger. Avi's gaze left his broken image and followed Tim's hand, the tiny drop resting on the skin, being led to Tim's face until he kissed the finger, never leaving Avi's eyes.

"No more tears."

He whispered, placing his hand on top of Avi's, their eyes never leaving each other. Normally he would've blinked and turned his head away, normally it would've been awkward but this time it was much needed. This time it was different, Avi saw something in them, a spark of hope, a little light of safety. Those big brown and gentle eyes beared so much compassion in them, so much understanding and...love. He slowly nodded. He told himself to stop crying like a child and to man up.

"You know, it's alright to cry, even for a man. Crying never shows weakness, always displays power."

Then why did he feel so helpless and small? There has been times where he felt strong and powerful but not now.

"What happened in your life to hurt you that much?"

He felt a huge weight crashing down onto his shoulders, tackling Avi to the ground and a horrible creature screamed into his ears, making him go completely insane.

Don't tell him! Don't tell him!

Clarissa stood right in front of him,swinging a large sword, her eyes glowing in rage. His green eyes grew wide, fulfilled with fear,only he could see her, only he could actually feel her presence, howshe pointed the end of the sword towards his heart. Her word was often the law, he had to obey or else he wouldn't feel the punishmentof his murder but Avi..he wanted to get better. He wanted to go out and enjoy life again. He wanted to be reunited with the ones he once loved and believed he still loved. He coudln't live like that, in shame and self hatred, anymore. But after all those years, after all those scars and sleepless nights it wasn't that easy to leave the vicious circle of depression.

"I..my fiancé and c-child..they d-died an-and it..it was all my f-f-fault.."

A wave of guilt hit him. Imagines from that fatal night kept coming back. Memories of their argument, the beating and yelling. The phone call further in the past when they lost the child. The planned wedding. The death.

"What were their names?"

Another glare from Clarissa, her sword now resting on the skin, in front of his heart. One wrong word and he would die. Not physically but he would betray his fiancé and the punishment the odds had layed before for him. He was meant to feel guilty, to suffer alone but if he said their names out loud he would take the opportunity to seek for help. His eyes couldn't hold back his tears anymore, his body started to shake violently as he formed those few words he had tried to forget for so long, in order to honor them.

"C-clarissa and...and Ellie-Grace."

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#Yanie