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1.

Nathaniel's Point Of View

I still can't get over that I officially graduated. School ended yesterday. So today is June 14th. I'm just sitting on my bed doing nothing. Just in a t-shirt and shorts. Hunter leaves soon. He leaves the 4th in July. I'll miss him so much. He's been my friend since... Well since as long as I can remember.

I usually update my YouTube channel every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I just haven't really uploaded anything this week. It's not because I ran out of ideas because I haven't. It's because lately I've been getting hate. I don't really want to get myself involved more in that stuff. I want to change, but it's hard to change something you've already become. It's not hard to be positive about stuff you don't know about though. So I don't read the hate. My friends sometimes do though. I've seen notifications from them. My friends defend me.

Starting Monday I have to work a summer camp. Cameron's uncle runs the camp and he wants us to be camp councilors. Cameron will be there. He's not in a cast anymore. I don't know what I should expect. Maybe I should check the fan mail or something?

Ring

I pick my phone up.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hi! I've got some exciting news and some other news. Which one do you want to hear first?" Lina says from the other end.

"Um... Doesn't really matter," I say.

"Okay, well I got a letter in the mail today. Have you checked your mailbox yet?" She asks.

"No," I say.

"Well, you'll see a letter with everybody from our shared YouTube channel's name. We got invited to MeetAndGreet.Me," she says.

"No way?! Really?" I say. Wow. We've never been invited to MeetAndGreet.Me before. We've been invited to other stuff but not this.

"Yeah, it's in July," she says.

"I guess Hunter won't be coming then," I say. He leaves the 4th in July. So it's probably not the first 4 days in July.

"He leaves the 4th right?" She asks.

"Yeah, why?" I ask.

"Because, it's July 3rd, 4th, and 5th. So maybe he will be able to make the 3rd," she says.

"Yeah," I say.

"It's in LA so he could go to the airport on the 4th and be there the 3rd," she says.

"Yeah, that might work," I say. We live not to far north of LA. So it's not a super long drive.

"Anyway, the other news is that people are beginning to think certain things of you, so I wouldn't check your fan mail," she says.

"What do you mean by certain things?" I ask.

"Well it's not only you, it's Cameron, CJ, Reese, Clay, Nick. Oh and Arran," she says, "People think that some of the things you guys say are for attention."

"Like?" I ask.

"Like when Cameron put up that video of his story, they think it's fake and they think you did what you did for attention," she says.

"If I wanted to do it for attention I would do it right in front of their fucking faces," I mutter, "And I've changed, at least I've tried too."

"My point is that we should make a video with all our stories and why we made the channel," she says.

"Yeah, maybe we can explain it all," I say.

"I'll run it by the girls," she says.

"Yeah, I'll run it by the rest," I say.

"Okay, well I gotta go so bye Nate," she says.

"Bye Lina," I say and she hangs up.

If I really wanted to do something for attention I seriously would do it right in front of their fucking little faces. That's what they don't understand. They don't understand it at all. Maybe I should start making my video now?

Ding

I check my phone, Lina texted on the group chat. It's literally our entire shared channel. 24 of us I think. She sent a script of what to say.

By now I've set up the camera. I don't know why I agreed. I mean it's for a good reason, but... I just don't really like telling people what I go through. God. Why am I procrastinating? I press record on the camera. I already practiced saying what I need to for the beginning.

(A/N Possible Trigger, You Do Not Have To Read Nate's Story If You Do Not Want, It Is Not That Important, You Have Been Warned, Go To Next Chapter If This Affects You)

"I'm Nathaniel Hunter and this is my story," I say. I pause. Then continue, "It started when I started elementary school. I used to be picked on, by lots of people. When I was 10 I asked to be homeschooled. That was also when I was diagnosed with osteoporosis, also known as weak bones. You may notice that in a lot of my other YouTube videos. When I was 11 my parents decided to make me go back to a public school instead of being homeschooled. Again I was bullied for having weaker bones. I cut myself a few times for what they said to me. Then when I was 12 my mom died in a car accident that I am responsible for," I pause again. I know that Angelina says this isn't true, but it is truly my fault, I should have never asked my mom to go. I continue, "After she died I was never the same. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, which is basically major depression. I cut and burned myself sometimes till I passed out. I was sent to a mental-health clinic for that. My family was scared I was going to do it again and kill myself. In that clinic that's where I met Cameron. He had social anxiety disorder. I was sent home a month later. I'm still not the same. I tried to kill myself twice more and I was sent twice more. Even though my dad married another woman it was never the same and it never will be. I've cut, burned, bruised, stabbed, you name it, to myself. I never really liked sports, even so, my dad made me join the soccer team in middle school. Now, when I was 14 I developed osteoarthritis in my left knee, that's why I have to wear a brace on it, from so many injuries in soccer. So as you can probably tell I get lots of injuries. Anyway when I was 15 I was still bullied and suicidal. The words the bully said really got to me. Words can hurt, think before you speak. I had bulimia nervosa. I was bingeing and self-inducted vomiting every day and night. That lasted for two years. When I was almost 17 it turned into anorexia. That's pretty much up to know. The anorexia has been getting better. You probably think I'm making this all up right?" I pause. I'm hysterically talking to myself in front of a camera. "Well I'm not," I say. Then I do something I thought I would never do. I pull my shirt up. Revealing my stomach and rib cage. I haven't really taken the injections for the past few weeks. I then let my shirt fall back down. "This isn't easy for us to be ourselves everyday. You probably think that I've cut, burned and stabbed myself? Well I have the scars to prove it," I say then. Then. Then I put my right wrist in the open facing the camera. Then I continue, "It's not right to say hateful things to other people when you don't know what they're going through. Lately me, Cameron, CJ, Clay, Nick, Arran, and Reese have been getting tons of hate. If we were doing the things we do for attention we would do it right in front of your faces. I'm now 18 years old. And have been clean for 2 months. There's something I want to say to all bullies. Dear bullies, see that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he talked his friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of his ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. Remember that boy you pushed down the steps yesterday, well he committed suicide last night. Now let me leave you with one last thought, words can be forgiven but not forgotten. Don't hate on people without knowing their full story." Then I get up and shut the camera off. I should pack my stuff. The camp starts Monday.