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41.

Reid's Point Of View

It's been about three hours since Nate left. I can't sleep. I just can't sleep. I get out of bed and throw a shirt on.

"Can't sleep?" Chandler asks.

"Shit, you scared me," I say.

"Look. I'm sorry I called you gay," he says.

"It's okay," I say.

"So what are you doing?" He asks.

"I'm going for a run," I say, "The doctor said I should try to get fresh air to get my mind off of hurting myself."

"Reid. I just want you to know that I'll still and always love you. I know you've had struggles, but I wanna let you know that I am here for you," he says as I walk to the door.

"Thank you," I say and hug him, "Sometimes I wish I could leave it all behind. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up."

"I love you," he says, "Reid. You are my brother. You matter to me. You mean the world to me. I don't want to loose you."

"I love you too," I say.

I let go and walk down the stairs to get my shoes. I then put them on and walk out the door. I check my watch, it's 12:00 in the morning. I start running.

*****

It's been about half an hour. I stop at the top of a hill. There's a tree on it a tall one. It's light enough to see the branches though.

I climb up it. Until I can't anymore. I look up at the sky as I'm hanging on by one branch.

The night stars look so pretty.

But then again they're just balls of hot gas. Right?

I let go.

Okay not my best idea. I just don't want to deal with this right now. Not ever. I hate it all. I never want my brother to know.

My body hits the ground. Fuck. That hurt a lot. Fuck. My wrist is what I landed on. Ya know, hands first they say. It does not look good. It looks dislocated or something. My carpal bones are on top of my radial bone. Fuck. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. It's bleeding.

Okay is it a bad time to mention that I'm hemophiliac?

I get out my phone. I need real help. I call Ryan. He picks up immediately.

"Hey," he says.

"Ryan. I-I don't know what I was thinking I just," I say fast.

"Slow down. Where are you?" He asks.

"The tree," I say.

"Reid. Don't move. I'm coming as fast as I can," he says.

"Okay," I say as I grunt in pain.

"You're going to be alright," he says then hangs up.

Well. Now I'm just laying on the ground on my back holding my wrist. Oh great. It's also my left. I'm a lefty.

I blame karma.

I hear tires screeching. Wow. That was fast.

"Oh my god Reid," Ryan says and comes to my side. He then asks, "What the hell happened?"

"I-I-I fell," I stutter.

"An ambulance is on its way and so is Dakota," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say. I feel the tears starting.

"For what?" He asks.

I hear more tires screech.

"Oh my gosh," I hear Dakota say.

"The ambulance should be here any moment. But what should we do?" Ryan asks panicked.

"Well we need to stop the bleeding," she says.

"He's hemophiliac," Ryan says.

God. My head hurts. It hurts a lot.

"Hey Reid," she says kneeling on the other side of me, "I need you to stay with me. Okay?"

"Okay," I mumble.

"He's loosing too much blood," she says.

My vision gets a bit splotchy, but I try my best to get rid of the splotches. I don't even know if that's possible. I hear a distant siren. It hurts my head.

"Reid," Ryan says.

"Huh?" I say dazed.

My vision gets more and more black.

"REID!" He shouts.

That's the last thing I hear before it all goes away.