Falling fast.

Chapter 15: Sleepless nights

|Kaylah POV| (un edited)
(self harm in this chapter)

(Kaylah's dream)

"Baby, you can't escape me. I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for the next week."

"NO! Mark please!" I screamed.

"Shuddup!" He roared and slapped me in the face.

He started pulling down my dress and running his grubby hands down my body hungrily.

He managed to kick off his jeans sometime when I was fighting him.

I was still screaming when he pinned my hands down and unclipped my strapless black bra and started man handling my boobs when I woke up.

Screaming. Josh ran in and held me as I cried. He's used to me waking up in the night screaming at the top of my lungs and crying my eyes out. That's been happening ever since that night. Even after Miles and I had that special moment by the trees at school.

He knew I'd never get back to sleep on my own so, he'd get me a blanket, some popcorn and some cucumber water. It always calms me down. Then we'd get my favourite Disney movie, Lilo and Stitch and play that until i fall asleep.

---------------

I woke up the next morning in my bed again and me feeling like shit. I looked at the clock 1:15 pm. Or I guess afternoon. Oh well.. Josh has let me stay home for the last week. I figure he's gonna make me go back next week though.
I sigh and swing my legs out from under the grey and dark purple flowered comforter.

I walked to my bathroom connected to my bedroom. I grabbed a fluffy black towel and locked my bathroom door. As I turned to take my hair out of its bun I looked at my horrible appearance.

(Self harm soon)

I was in a teal sports bra and black short shorts that showed my cuts from the past.

My once electrifying silver orbs are now a dull shade of silver, my thunder thighs had no gap, my hair has ugly split ends, I have heavy bags under my eyes. My breasts are a  34 b.. Definitely not what boys want. I turned to the side. I have back fat. My butt is small with awkward dimples placed around my bum.

I'm ugly and flawed.

I looked back up from my body to my face to see I'm crying again.

Pathetic. The voice in my head sneers.

I turn towards the shower and turn the water on.

Disgusting! It says.

I glanced towards the mirror and covered it with a towel.

I hopped in the shower washed my long knotted hair and my body then sat down on the warm tiles.

Waste of space! It gets louder

I looked to my left and found my (one of many) trusty razor blade behind an old shampoo bottle.

I took a deep breath and brought the blade down on my thigh.

1
2
3
4
5
6

I silently cried and cut until my thigh went numb. I looked at my bloody thigh and wondered, how could I do this to myself? I do that every time. It never matters when it's happening though. It's like I black out then the pain disappears.

I hop out of the shower and bandaged up my leg quickly cleaning up the blood.

I wrapped myself up in my towel and limped towards the closet. I slipped on a bra and panties. I searched for my black and white striped crop tank top and my black sweat pants.

I grabbed some Cheerios from the kitchen, I iced water and came back to my room to nap.

-------------
Thanks for reading!

I do NOT promote self harm.

~~~~~~

It's 12:14 am rn and I'm tired af buuuut.. Here's an update!

Love you all!!

Vote,
Comment,
Aand...

Don't worry, be happy!

-K❤️