Nothing Like Us

Moving On

As soon as we got home, I asked where I would be staying and immediately took my stuff in the room and went into the shower.

I stood under the water letting it cover my whole body. I slowly sat down and brought my knees up to my chest and began to cry into them. It made me so angry that I was still crying about it. I hated myself and I wanted to somehow numb the pain so I did what I promised I would never do again.

I watched as the the warm red liquid ran down my hands and cried. I had relapsed.

After a very long shower, I got out dried myself and put a bandaid over my cuts. I wore a long sleeve shirt to cover them up even further and some yoga pants.

I got into bed and went on my phone I took a deep breath and un-followed him from everything. I deleted his number and all of our messages, and pictures of him and I. My phone was finally Saul free.

Saul's POV

My injury recovered quickly and I was back at the gym training a lot. After what happened I felt like complete shit. I actually realized how badly I fucked up after she walked out the door. By the time I had made it outside she was gone. I was so mad at myself that the only way I could let it out was by boxing.

Ricardo came in while I was hitting the punching bag. "Hey bro" I ignored him and kept focus on what I was going. "So are you just going to ignore me" I punched the bag some more and stopped to catch my breath. I wiped the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand and spoke.

"Yeah, I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear you, and I sure as hell don't want to talk to you" I went back to punching the bag.

"Saul how many times do I have to say I'm sorry? Come on you can't be mad at me forever, I'm your brother." "Sorry isn't enough. Ricardo because of you I lost the love of my life. God I should have never reacted the way I did and you know why I reacted the way I did, was because of you and the way you just manipulated me"

"Okay I'll admit I was wrong and once again I'm sorry but I was only looking out for you brother, you know I didn't want to see you get hurt" "well I appreciate you looking out for me but look where it got me, instead of helping me, you helped me end a beautiful relationship I had with Jamie, now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get back to what I was doing" he sighed as he looked at me and left.

I was at the gym for a long time. I didn't want to leave since that was the only place I could blow off some steam. I sat down at the edge of the ring to take a break and drink some water. After I took a long sip Eddy came in. "What's up shrimp?" (Lol I recently discovered Chepo and probably Eddy call him that) "nothing much I've been here since noon just working out trying to get my mind off of things"

"I see... look I'm sorry to say this but I feel bad for her, I mean what you did probably broke her seeing you half naked with that woman" "but I had just finished taking a shower nothing else?" "but... you took one because you and that other woman had finished ... right?" I gave him a weird look. "No not at all we didn't hook up like that, we only kissed which is still cheating and I feel beyond guilty that I did that to Jamie"

"Oooooh my, Saul keep your head up that relationship can still be fixed. The way you told me before made it seem like you two hooked up in bed which would have changed things drastically but if you only kissed her that can be fixed, everyone deserves a second chance"

"I don't know? I think she doesn't ever want to see me again because of how I reacted, which left the impression that I didn't trust her. I can't believe all of this was caused by my jealousy"

"I hear you Saul but now it's your job to find her and explain to her what actually happened and apologize for your actions. I can see it in your eyes that you still miss her and love her and what you did with that other woman meant nothing but an act of jealousy and well alcohol. It's not going to be easy but you must show her that you are worthy of her love again"

I tried so hard to not let the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. It was bad enough Eddy new about my whole ordeal and now I didn't want him to see me cry. I turned to the side and tried to wipe them off casually.

"Hey Saul I'm here for you and it's okay to cry, I know this is hard for you" he said while rubbing my back. "Yeah sorry I just ... I, it pains me to think that I caused all of this and right now she's probably sitting in her bed crying her eyes out, depressed, broken, hurt" I paused for a second. "That day was the first time I saw her cry the way she did, it hurt me to see her like that... to see her beautiful face cry like if she lost someone, and she did. The person she put her story, her trust, her love in"

I had to drop the tough guy act because right now I was hurt and vulnerable. I know I probably didn't deserve to be either because I caused this but I realized my mistake how badly I messed up. All I wanted was her back.

Jamie's POV

The next day I woke up feeling a little better. Except I was too lazy to get up so I stayed in bed taking in the scenery as the sun was shining through the window. A little after Nicole came in to tell me if I wanted to go shopping with her and Alessia. I wasn't really in the mood but I decided I should go with them so they wouldn't ask me a million questions as to why I wouldn't go with them.

We went to this little mall where they had little cute stores. I saw one in particular that sold cute handmade bracelets. I decided to buy a couple to cover up my wrists. "Jamie those are cute!" "Thank you I bought them because once I leave Brazil I'm going to need something to remember this trip"

"Here let me take a picture of you, the scenery is beautiful and you chica look gorgeous" "What about you?" "Oh I already took a bomb ass selfie and posted it let me just get one of you for the gram as well" She was right, the scenery was stunning so I smiled as if I was happier than ever. "alright that one was really good Jai"

"I think this might be paradise
I just hope it lasts forever" @jamieblackwell

I got the notification that I was tagged in a picture and I clicked on it to go like it. I saw that a certain "someone" liked it too, like why though?

Canelos POV

I was eating breakfast and scrolling through Instagram when I stumbled upon a picture that Nicole uploaded of Jamie. I immediately liked it not thinking it was probably a creepy move since it had just been uploaded it. Soon after Jamie liked it as well meaning she was online too.

I couldn't help but smile. I wanted to do something since I knew she was online but I don't think I was on the right position to be saying anything to her and she would most likely ignore me. I believe the only way I was going to be able to reach her if anything was through Nicole and that's even if she spoke to me.

It would be a long shot considering they are like sisters and I bet Nicole hates me just as much as Jamie. I don't blame her I was an asshole to her.

..........
What I wrote up there is a very sensitive topic and no one should ever resort to that EVER. I only included it in the story because I want to make this story as raw and real as possible. Throughout the story I've been including small details of my life and Roxy's (my cousin, the reason why I wrote the book). Please get help if you're going through self harm or an eating disorder. I know it's hard and not easy but it's worth trying. I would never wish something like that on my worst enemy. Every life matters and your's should too. Life is worth living. I'm always here if you guys need someone to talk to. I love you all and stay safe 😘