What I saw crushed my heart into a million pieces. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist, caressing her face while she giggled away.
When they saw me all got serious and quiet. He stood up while the woman decided to leave without saying anything. I just stood there looking straight at him through my blurry vision while she passed me with her stupid smirk. Once I heard the door close I couldn't get myself to comprehend what I just saw and what words I was about to say.
He sat down on the bed and looked at me. I finally got myself to talk. "can you explain to me what just happened because I don't seem to understand" "what don't you understand about that? We're done, we've been done since you went behind my back with that guy" "What? Are you talking about Theo? Their is absolutely nothing going on with me and Theo are you kidding me right now?"
"Jamie don't act like you don't know, Ricardo showed me a picture of you and him kissing" "oh Ricardo huh? he showed you a picture of me and Theo kissing right so did you ever think about talking to me first to see that we weren't actually kissing, that we were just hugging as acquaintances saying goodbye to each other. The angle says otherwise but forget about me right, forget the fact that we are in a relationship together and if something happens we talk about it before we spring into any action but screw our relationship right since you went ahead and screwed something"
"so you're blaming this all on me? like you never had anything to do with it? I never even knew he was a guy in the first place?" "I didn't think me hanging out with a guy mattered to you since I thought you trusted me. I would never be unfaithful to you and you know that. I just don't understand why you would do this to me?" I said frustrated and signaling to where they were just standing.
"yes it did matter because in that moment I could have expressed what I was feeling. I wanted you to be with me and talk or watch a movie, or just simply interact with me, anything but I just wanted you to stay with me. Gosh Jamie all this time I felt like shit being injured and not being able to do what I loved doing the most but most of all, I hated that your job was getting in the way of the precious time I could have been with you and I know that's so selfish of my to say but it's how I felt"
"Oh so not only were you jealous of Theo but of my job? I thought you were happy and proud of me Saul. This was something I wanted to do since I can remember and you know that. I'm finally living my dream. Saul you never told me how you felt and so I just thought you were okay. I do take responsibility for not asking but even then you were constantly in a bad mood and I didn't want to bother you. I'm sorry for not making an effort but that still doesn't make up for the fact that you went ahead and cheated on me" I paused to sob. I looked down at the ground as I was a bawling my eyes out.
I whispered enough for him to hear "I really thought I was irreplaceable" I kept going "I guess you're right, we're done because if there's no trust in a relationship then their is no relationship" "I guess so"
I looked him in the eyes and took a good look at him one last time. I shook my head and rolled my lips "I wish I never met you" I wiped the remaining tears I had away and walked out.
As I walked back to by car it felt as if the whole world was in slow motion. I got in my car and drove off.
•
"you ready to go Jamie" Nicole said while patting my back. I turned to my side and looked outside the airport window. "yeah I'm ready to leave Los Angeles for a while and forget about what happened" I said while wiping a tear away. Me and Nicole were currently boarding a plane to Brazil to be with her sister.
After I got home that night she told me the news she had been anticipating to tell me. She was going to Brazil to be with her sister for a while and after I told her what happened between me and Saul and how we broke up she asked me to go with her to get away from it all and well I agreed because I needed it.
The whole plane ride I was a mess. I used to think we were inseparable but I guess not. I hated crying over him but I couldn't take it, I really loved him but what he did destroyed me completely and shattered my heart.
We arrived at Santos Dumont Airport at 9 am. All I wanted to do was get to a bed and sleep. While Nicole waited for her sister at the gate I went to the restroom to freshen up my face. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror you could see how puffy and red my eyes were and just how exhausted I was. I splashed some water in my face and quickly put a little bit of makeup on.
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Lost in confusion, like an illusion
Before getting back to Nicole I took a pic and uploaded it to Instagram. I then went to check Twitter. I saw multiple pictures of me at LAX with captions like "Jamie spotted in LAX without her beau Canelo?" and then there was pictures of Saul going back to the gym with captions like "Canelo back at the gym after ankle injury with no Jamie around for moral support?" Seriously? I just rolled my eyes and caught up with Nicole.
We spotted Alessia and she spotted us. She opened her arms for us to engulf her in a hug. "Bom dia mulheres lindas" "Bom dia irmã eu senti tanto sua falta" I've literally been around Nicole enough to practically know the Portuguese language but it just never quite stuck with me, although I understood very little but not enough if I was stranded in Brazil for a day by myself. "hey Alessia it's nice to see you again"
"Hi Jamie how are you?" "I'm good thank you" I said with a faint smile. "Are you sure? you seem a little down, maybe it's because you're hungry how about I take you girls out to breakfast" I wasn't really hungry but it's not like I could decline. "Yeah okay"
She took us to "The Bakers" in Copacabana. Since the breakup a few days ago I haven't been hungry and I had slowly fallen into my old habits. No one knew about it and I had planned to keep it that way.
At the cafe I ordered a croissant and a green tea so I wouldn't raise any suspicion. Alessia was the one to start the conversation. "So Jamie what's wrong? really, you can tell me anything. You're like another sister to me since you've known Nicole almost your whole life?" "Well um.... I just broke up with my boyfriend" "oh eu sintu muito meu amor, what happened?"
"Alessia! não pergunte isso a ela" I understood what Nicole said and smiled at her" "Nicole it's fine why don't you tell her the story" "baby girl are you sure...?" I nodded. Nicole told her everything. "Wow Jamie I'm here for you. I remember when you came back from Mexico with him you were so happy, never would have thought he was capable of doing something like that especially to you"
"ALESSIA!" "it's cool Nic but yes Alessia me neither" I sighed and took a sip of my tea to try and get the knot out of my throat. I wanted to cry so bad but I had to contain myself until we got home.
A little after Alessia was ready to take us home and I couldn't be more excited. Probably the only thing I was excited about in a minute. I just wanted to isolate myself with my thoughts.
