Vapor {5SOS / Brian Dales}

9.5

Luke

October 2nd 2015, (Port Melbourne, Federation Square and Sofitel on Colin's, SGFG, album promotion)

Four am. That's what the time is now. I was lying awake in Dana's queen size bed. I had to get up and leave, and leave everything behind. I didn't want to. I wanted to stay. I wanted to try and fix this. But this was up to her, and she'd seemingly made up her mind already.

To say I was grateful for last night was an understatement. Having her in my arms one last time was a blessing and a curse. I slowly got out of her bed, and put my clothes back on. Careful not to wake her, I sat back on the bed and put my black converse back on. She must have felt the bed shift, because she  sat up pulling the duvet over her bare chest.

"What time is it?" She asked, her voice all groggy and tired
"It's four," I told her, "it's too early for you to be awake, go back to sleep,"
"Where are you going?" She asked, ignoring what I'd said
"I have to go back to the hotel, I shouldn't have stayed," I said, that was true. I shouldn't have stayed as long as I had, but I wanted to hold her in my arms until the last possible second
"Oh right," she said hiding a smile, "you've got that thing,"
"Yeah," I nodded, it was still dark outside and I knew she couldn't see me properly, "I have to go, but I'm going to assume I'll see you after the thing,"
"Uh yeah. I have to talk to Mikey," she told me, "but yeah, you know what happens now," my face fell at her words. I was hoping I could change her mind; but it seemed I couldn't
"Yeah," I said, "just remember I love you okay?"
"Yeah,"
"Can we talk after you know? Get proper closure?"
"I'll see," I nodded, I knew that I was going to have to force her to talk to me, "you better go,"
"Yeah," I agreed, leaning over to kiss her, but she gave me the cheek, "Dana, please just one last kiss," I begged, knowing that was the last time I'd ever hold her in my arms, the last time we'd ever be like this. It took her a while, but she finally gave in and kissed me, "I love you,"
"I love you too, and it fucking sucks because I should hate you," she said, as she lay back down
"I know baby, I know," I sighed
"Good luck up there," she told me, "I'll be watching," I didn't know what she meant by that, was she coming to the performance? Or was she just going to watch it on TV?
"What do you mean?" I asked
"Look on Twitter after the show," she told me, the words coming out as a mumble, as shed closed her eyes and fell back asleep.

The uber ride back to the hotel was the worst. I knew that I was going to get the shit kicked out of me, for staying out all night. Michael was going to murder me for staying with her last night. He'd think I was fucking with her head and her heart again, which I wasn't. If that's what I did, they weren't my intentions.

"And where the fuck have you been?" Michael asked me as I walked into our shared room
"You know where I've been so don't ask,"
"I can't fucking believe you!" He almost yelled, "I told you not to fuck with her again, I told you not to go and see her while we were here that you should leave that up to her!"
"Well I didn't fucking listen did I?"
"Clearly not! I swear to fucking God Luke if you've fucked with her head and heart again, I'm gonna fucking kill you,"
"If I've done that, I didn't fucking mean to, okay?" I said, "that is the last fucking thing I wanted!"
"Well you've done it once, who knows how many times you've fucked Arzaylea behind her back, now!"
"You know very well that was the only time and I was drunk out of my fucking mind!"
"That's not a fucking excuse, not with my best friend!"
"I know it's not okay?" I told him, "but I don't even know what happened, all I remember is drinking that night okay? I don't fucking remember anything until I woke up,"
"I'm so fucking done with you Hemmings!" He yelled, "I swear if she's in fucking tears when I see her later, you're a dead man,"
"And I'll give you the honour of killing me," I told him, "now let me shower and shit,"
"Yeah, you smell like sex," he said, "and if it was Dana you fucked, I'll fucking kill you,"
"You know exactly who it was," I scowled, "and let me tell you, I wouldn't have done anything she didn't want to do," that was the truth, I didn't assume anything would happen when I went to see last night, it probably shouldn't have happened, but it did; and it was her that initiated it, not me.