Aries: One, two, three, I declare a war on *flips coin* ENGLAND!
Taurus: And uh, to celebrate um, the third day this week without rain, WE SHALL FEAST!
Gemini: Tell the King of Spain to f*ck with me because I don't care about his trading policy.
Cancer: Have a town meeting, I want to hold every newborn baby.
Leo: Let's dedicate an entire month to my birthday and get turnt every night. Feast for everyone peasants!
Virgo: Shhhhhhhh! Leave me alone, I'm planning my next World War!
Libra: I'd like to meet all of the other monarch's, and I need a new dress and let's have a ball tonight.
Scorpio: Everyone in the kingdom either wants to kill me or f*ck me! #tru
Sagittarius: National Get Sh*t Faced Day, am I right?
Capricorn: PUBLIC EXECUTIONS MOTHERF*CKER
Aquarius: Name all the planets in the solar system after me, right now!
Pisces: I don't wanna go to war! Can everyone please be happy? Look how many kitties there are in my palace.
