Haikyuu!! x Reader AUs

Achromatic {Oikawa Tooru} (Request)

Soulmate AU where you see in black and white until you meet your soulmate, and you see in black and white again when they die.
Requested by trashy-chan
Warning(s): angst, character death
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Dear, (f/n), my love,

From the moment I first met you, I knew I was madly and deeply in love with you. You changed my world of black and white into one of color, and you allowed me to see things that I never would've seen before. You opened up a new world for me.

I know that we were meant to be not only because we were soulmates, but because the love I felt for you—and will always feel for you—changed me. You made me a better person, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for coming into my life and loving me the way you did.

After you gave my world color, I didn't appreciate it and all of its glory until you were gone. After being blessed with the ability to see all of the hues that the world had to offer during the twenty years that I had you in my life, I've forgotten what I'd forgotten what it was like to see nothing but shades of white and tints of black all day long.

I miss you.

If I could bring you back, I would. If I could appreciate you more, I would. I tried as best as I knew how to at the time to give you all of the love and attention I could, and I hope it was enough for you, even though you deserved so much more.

I've tried over and over to write this letter. I wish you could see the trash can in our room—it's overflowing with crumpled papers and broken ideas. I'm trying so hard to make this letter free of mistakes and the paper free of crinkles or tears, but it's hard now that my eyes are starting to water.

I'll always love you, (f/n). I don't care if you want me to move on. I can't do it. I just can't see myself with anyone but you, even though you're gone now. I can't love anyone the same way I love you, and I've accepted that now. I'm okay with sleeping alone at night and with not having a woman to hug or kiss when I'm lonely and need attention. I see you in my dreams, and they're always full of color. I can hear your beautiful voice saying my name, and I can feel the warmth of your presence, and that's enough for me.

Before you left so suddenly, you gave me three wonderful children, and I'm going to cherish them for as long as I live. I see you in each of them, whether it's in their eyes or hair, or in the way they talk and walk, and I'm glad that I at least got the chance to see what perfect children looked like and to be their father.

They miss you too.

I've been trying to help them as much as possible. I tell them that even though you're not here with us, you're still watching over us and sending all of your love to us. I've been giving them all more hugs and kisses than ever in an attempt to make up for the lack of yours, but nobody can take care of them like you did.

When I breathe in, I can still smell the faint scent of that perfume you always wore. I bought you bottle after bottle of that stuff and asked you why you never tried anything else. And you asked, "Why would I want to try something new when I'm already so happy with what I have?" I can still picture you sitting in front of the mirror in the bathroom, fixing that (h/l) (h/c) hair of yours and putting on makeup. I look at your clothes hanging up in the closet and I can see you wearing each different outfit.

I still glance over at your side of the bed and half-expect you to be lying there beside me.

I'm trying very hard not to be sad, but it's difficult. I mean, you're the love of my life and nobody can ever replace you. Nobody can ever replace the warmth and comfort you brought into our home with your joyful personality and your beautiful face.

It's been a week, so just give me some time, baby. I'll write to you again soon and tell you how we're doing when we're in a better place. I'm not saying that we're ever going to just accept your death, but we're going to be strong because I know that that's what you would want us to do.

Before I end this letter, I just want to make sure that you know something. I don't want you to think that I love you solely because you brought color into my life. No, I love you because you brought me so much joy and you made me feel things that I never thought I'd be able to feel.

I never thought someone would be able to love me as much as you do, and, for that, I'm forever grateful. Your love brings me enough happiness to cope with this bleak world that faces me now. The children you carried into this world for me are beautiful gifts, and I'll treasure them as much as you do. I'll take good care of them, and I'll take care of myself. I'm not going to give up.

I'll never forget the memories we shared, and I'll continue to share the new memories that our children make with you each time I write to you.

I love you so much and I always will.

Your loving husband,

Tooru

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After he'd finished writing his letter, and your kids had written theirs, Oikawa grabbed the special box that he and the kids had made and got in the car.

When they reached the cemetery, they all walked to your grave and put their letters into the box before setting it down in front of your gravestone. Oikawa put his hands on the shoulders of his children and held them closely to him. The four of them stood in silence for a moment before starting to walk back to the car.

It was still hard for Oikawa to see your wonderful name engraved in that bleak stone marker. But when he looked up at the top of it, you were sitting there, smiling.

"I love you, Tooru. I can't wait to read your letters," you said gently.

"I love you too, (f/n)," he replied, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

"Go home now and be safe, okay?"

"Okay."

"You're doing a good job, baby."

Oikawa smiled before guiding his kids back to the car and helping them inside.