rich youth | kim taehyung

chapter 27: invisible

On Monday Morning, I searched the halls for Joy. She was not at her locker and not in her classroom, so I've been running around trying to find her. Finally I tried the third floor and heard a familiar laugh.

I turned the corner and saw Joy leaning against a wall and waiting for Jimin as he got his books. She had small bandages on her legs and she still looked pretty weak.

He asked her if she was ready to go and she nodded. She propped herself off the wall and walked beside Jimin. After a few steps, she seemed unstable and almost fell. I was about to run to her, but then Jimin already wrapped his arm around her waist and she leaned against him as she walked.

I decided that I would talk to her during lunch but Jimin was clinging to her as usual. They stood in line, but he took both of their backpacks and went to find a table. Joy leaned her weight against the counter for support as she looked at the food. I took this opportunity to talk to her.

"Joy." I was now standing right beside her, but her eyes continued to look at the entrees. She scooted down the line and was trying to get away from me.

I took a deep breath before placing my hand on her shoulder. "Please Joy...Please don't ignore me."

Not once did she react as if she knew that I was there. She pretended like I didn't exist and just picked up some food, putting it on her tray. "Joy..."

She walked up to the cashier and took some money out of her pocket. By watching her, I could tell she was still having trouble walking. But before she could hand the money to the cashier, Jimin came running up and paid for her lunch.

Her expression completely changed and she smiled when Jimin came up. Her face was no longer blank and emotionless as Jimin took the tray from her and held her hand, keeping her balanced as she walked.

I couldn't stand watching them. Jimin is doing what I should be doing. I watched them as he helped her take a seat where Sowon and Jungkook were already eating. They were all talking amongst themselves and Joy was laughing so much around them. As if everything has already gone back to normal.

After school I waited by her locker. She would have to pass by here and this time she wouldn't be able to ignore me. As I waited, Sowon slowly approached me and the look in her eyes definitely read 'I'm going to kill you.'

"Go away. Don't bother waiting for Joy." She uttered.

"I have to talk to her."

"Like I said. Don't bother. She doesn't want to talk to you. She hasn't told us what happened between you two, but she hasn't mentioned your name at all since I saw her in the hospital. And the fact that she doesn't even want to sit with you at lunch makes it obvious that she doesn't to be around you."

"Sh-she hasn't mentioned my name?"

Sowon shook her head, "It's like she completely forgot about." She gave me one last look and left.

I couldn't stop my efforts to get her to talk to me. The following days, I would find her in the hallways, in between classes, and after school, trying to say anything to her, but it's like I was a ghost. She would walk right by when I try to stop her and she would stare straight ahead, never looking into my eyes.

I was dead to her.

During those days, I would watch her in the cafeteria as she sat with her friends. She was smiling and laughing and I remember when she would smile at me whenever I hugged her and when she would laugh at everything I said. I really regretted the earlier part of our relationship when I treated her like nothing but an asset.

I missed her sweet personality. It's not like her personality changed, but she just won't act that way around me anymore. Whenever Joy would laugh at something Jimin had said, she would lean her head on his shoulder and I wanted to punch him in the face so badly.

I noticed her get up and excuse herself from the table. I followed her out of the cafeteria and she went into the girls' bathroom. I know this sounds a little crazy, but I just went in after her.

I opened the door and luckily no one else was in there but us. Joy was looking at herself in the mirror and almost screamed when she saw me in there with her.

"W-what are you doing in here?!" After so long, she finally acknowledged me.

"I just want to talk to you..." I approached her slowly, but she backed up, keeping a large distance between us.

She stared at me looking as if she was either going to yell at me or slap me. But she did neither. She just blinked and tried to walk around me. I grabbed her by the shoulders so she wouldn't be able to leave.

"Joy I don't know how I should even begin to say sorry. I know sorry will never be enough for the fucked up things that I did, but I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you--I will do anything you ask, I just can't stand not being able to talk to you. I hate feeling like I'm invisible. I still love you so much." I was biting my lip from the anxiety and out of frustration. No matter how much I was pleading, Joy just stared at me with the blank expression she tended to have on nowadays. "Don't you still love me?"

"I did." She brushed my hands off of her shoulders, "Well, at least I thought I did."

"Wait...Joy, what are you saying?"

She smiled weakly and sighed, "I only loved you because I believed that you actually cared about me. I thought that all those times we kissed and held hands--I thought you did that because you had feelings for me. I guess you could say that I'm really...impressed. You were able to put up with this act for so long."

"N-no it's not an act. I admit that in the beginning, I was selfish and I only tried to find an easy way out of things, but later on I really fell for you because you're such amazing girl and I love how you're so sweet and caring and I couldn't resist kissing your face. And when you got kidnapped, I was so--I didn't know what to do. I was so worried that I would never see you again and that you would get hurt or that Namjoon and Jin would--"

"Namjoon and Jin didn't hurt me as much as you did."

"I..." I knew I didn't deserve her forgiveness. And I knew I shouldn't expect her to feel the same way she did before. But I just felt my heart get ripped out from my chest.

"It was nice to feel loved, even if in the end, none of it was real. So I think we should just end it here. You can call it a break up, but we were never really a couple, so, goodbye."

She walked around me and was just about to touch the doorknob, but I couldn't let her go just yet. I pulled her into me and kissed her. When I kissed her, her lips were concealed in a tight line. I kissed her until her mouth involuntarily parted open and I moved my lips with hers. I held her waist tightly, practically squeezing her and never wanting to let her go.

Joy put her hands to my chest, keeping a small space between us. When our lips parted, I rested my forehead on hers and looked down at the floor. I noticed her chest rising and falling quickly as she was taking fast breaths. "Joy, please. I love you."

She untangled herself from my arms and stared at me, her face was pale but even then, she showed zero emotions. "Don't touch me ever again."

+

:)))