Destiny

Plus

No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I love in your direction, hoping that the message goesSomewhere close to you

-Rihanna

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I swam deep within the warm water. Surrounded by the crystal blue depths. Submerged in my own safety, far away from my fears and impossible hopes. A swarm of white fish begin to circle me in a delicate dance. I reach out to touch them but I'm so far away. 

 I suffered this taunting dream for the past three days. I laid deep within the soft satin sheets contemplating the images in my head. Gabriel is mine. Power so close. I had him in the palm of my hand. Maybe I actually could love him. No. I will never be betrayed again. My foolish heart would be my greatest enemy. I turned to look at the pile of jewels Gabriel had showered me in and felt a bitter satisfaction. How long would his interest in me last until he moved onto the next woman that caught his eye. I was becoming too comfortable in my position. For some time I stole scrolls cascaded on Gabriel's desk when he was absent. I learned that the mongols were seeking currency from my father. Founding this out made my blood boil. How dare those scoundrels demand anything from her homeland. I would find a way to personally put the Mongolian leaders in their place. I just needed a secure plan. 

I made my way to the banquet hall and was greeted by the servants by their respectful bows. As I entered Gabriel stood and met my eyes, his grey orbs burning intense holes into my body. He claimed to be fully recovered, yet I was the only one that knew that he still groaned softly in pain throughout the night. I sat down and so did Gabriel. The table's conversations continued as normal. My stomach growled with the smell of cooked meat. It felt as if I hadn't eaten in a decade. I devoured the plate of meat quickly causing Gabriel to stare at me silently with a curious glint in his silver eyes. I was so embarrassed. I was eating more than all of his men, yet I could only stomach certain meats. It seemed it was all I craved for a while. I connected this dilemma with my ever growing nerves and knowledge about the Mongolian advances against my people. Gabriel pushed his plate of fruit and bread towards me suggesting that I eat it. I just stared at the plate in disdain. Looking up and meeting Gabriel's clear grey eyes I knew he would not let me leave the hall without eating the food. I sighed. No matter how caring or loving he sometimes could be, he was still a stubborn beast at heart. I broke a small piece of bread and placed it in my mouth. My stomach instantly lurched making me scurry from my chair and out of the banquet hall. I emptied the content of my stomach into a nearby vase outside. I felt strong hands on my back rubbing circles and pulling stray ringlets of hair behind my ears. I looked up and wiped the bile from my lips. Gabriel looked at me with his dark eyebrows knitted in concentration. "You will stay inside the chambers today."He said turning to leave back to the banquet. "I will not!"I retorted causing him to pause. He turned back around sharply and stared at me. "It was not a choice."He stated calmly paralyzing me in my place with his deadly eyes. I crossed my arms and cocked my eyebrow. He sighed and rolled his shoulders in aggravation. "I will send a healer to the chambers to look after you, I have enough things to worry about right now."Gabriel said turning on me sharply making me feel cold all over. How could he say he loved me when he treated me like that? He made me feel like a nuisance or unwanted, like a everlasting burden he had to deal with. 

"How long have you been feeling nauseous your highness?"the healer asked in deep accent that I could not pinpoint. "I would say two weeks."I replied laying down on the bed with my hands folded on top of my ribs. The old man wrote down things on his pad of parchment paper while nodding. "When did you last bleed your highness?"He questioned continuing to scribe onto his paper. I thought back and could not determine when my last moon occurred. "I am not sure."I stated fidgeting as his dark brown quickly flashed to mine in curiosity. He hummed and rifled through a leather pouch strapped around his torso. He pulled out a small vial with what looked like some kind of brown herb. "Please remain still your highness."the healer said unplugging the vial. The smell was putrid and strong. He wafted it near my nose and my stomach jumped once again. I released my stomach into a nearby bin that he had handed to me. He sighed deeply and smiled. "Just as I expected."He said somewhat to himself and placed the vial back into his bag. "What is it?"I questioned with anxiousness. I was afraid that it would be a serious illness based on the grim expression on his face. "Your highness---you are---pregnant."My heart stopped beating it seemed. Time froze and all I could do was stare. "I must inform the General your highness."He said bowing and beginning to leave. "No, please I'm not sure if I am ready to tell him yet!"I cried in worry. What would he think? What would he do?"I am sorry your highness, it is my duty and obligation to report this news."He replied solemnly and exited the chambers. I laid there in the bed stunned waiting for what would come. Not knowing was the worse feeling. I heard hard footsteps outside the chamber and my heart clenched. Gabriel burst through the door and just stared at me. His grey eyes soaking into my soul as we trapped each other in a binding stare.