Dear ______,
Happy Birthday! I hope your day is super amazing and you have lots of fun.
We have had lots and lots of issues and I feel really bad about everything and how all of it keeps getting ended. I hope you are taking the time to read this but if you don't I am okay with it. My heart still skips a beat when I see you and I know you will never feel the same, but that is okay. I always tell myself that I am over you, but it will never be true. I feel like a lot of the bad endings were my fault and I hope you can forgive me. I know the pain you struggle with like your depression, because I have it too. I should have tried to push through and be there to help you and I am sorry that I wasn't. I wish I would have stuck by you even when you pushed me away, because for me if I push you away it just means I want someone to care I just don't know how to let them in. I am really sorry. I am so sorry. I feel liked I fucked up really bad. You trusted me with so much shit and I feel like I was so mean to you. You always said that it wasn't my fault, but I never believed that. If you get anything out of this just know I am sorry. You said that you felt so bad and I blamed myself. I wish I could make you happy, but I never did. You are happy without me bothering you. I miss seeing you and talking. I have been wanted one last hug for so long... 20 days. I wanted you to be my first kiss. Hell I wouldn't be mad if you were to do it still. I have never done this relationship thing right. Even just with my friends. I am so sorry. You were the first guy it held hands with. I was an innocent girl with a horrible mind. You left, they all do. It was no surprise that you did. The surprise was how bad it hurt. It has been 20 days since we talked last and the whole time I was hoping that you would come up to me and hug me and tell me I would be okay. I was hoping. I would even settle to see your smile. I love seeing you happy. I am always sad to see you look away or avert your eyes from me, but seeing you happy changes that all.
I hope you have an amazing birthday because you deserve it. You are such an amazing person. Happy 17th! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
His birthday is tomorrow and he won't be here so I gave it to him today. He said
Thank you, for having my back when you did,for that card, and for being my friend. i'm sorry that our friendship faded, but thats because I wasn't ready for a relationship and l'm still not... if we go for a movie day by ourselves to catch up on things it'll be fun, and a good birthday present. So let me know what day and i'll let you know if I am busy or not.
