On this day in 2007 my happiness died. The glue holding my life together. You were my best friend and you kept everyone happy. You were my Uncle. I lost you to Cancer. Cancer took my happiness, the only thing keeping my pain away from me. You kept my Dad happy and me. We rode scooters and watched Harry Potter. Even if I don't remember a single thing about Harry Potter I remember you were there. I could trust you. I knew you wouldn't say anything but I had nothing to tell you then because while you were here life was good and nothing seemed to be bad. Nothing was falling apart. When you died Grandpa lost the property we all lived on together. Now our family has grown apart. We don't live close so we and ll rent close. Nobody calls or texts. I am a kid with no family. I noticed my dad is happy when he isn't with my mom. I wish he would leave her so I could go with him but he is to nice. Just like you. Always nice and sweet. You were the ideal Husband. I wanted to marry a guy just like you. I hope I never forget you so I always know what I want in a man. You were kind and thoughtful you got your wife to stop cutting, but after you died I saw her in the store with more scars on her arms than I could count. You were even happy as you died. I have your ashes now. She finally gave them to us. I keep you in my room with my winter ball corsage. You always said you wanted to watch me grow up so I keep you by all my defining moments. So it is like you are there with me. I want to put some of your ashes in a necklace so I always have you and your wisdom with me. You were young...23 years old. I will wear that necklace to my wedding again to have you at the most important moments in my life. You were like a second father to me. I guess your passing was supposed to teach me something. It sure makes me want to strive to do good so I can see you again one day in heaven. That day couldn't get here any slower. I hope you are waiting for me when it is my time. I know that if I ever need anything I just think about you. I wish we had more time together and I wish I was older when it happened so I never took a second with you for granted. Every 4th of July [that was your favorite holiday so it was mine too] seeing the clown firework and the clowns nose lighting up. The darkness surrounding us but your smile and the sparks of fireworks lighting up our lives. Now that I think about it you were my firework. Lighting up my world but you slowly fading away. Just leaving a smoke cloud and an empty firework canister. I will never let go of that firework canister. The smoke representing your memory slowly disappearing. I try so hard to capture that smoke. I have one small percentage of it and that is enough for me. You ashes a perfect reminder. The blanket you bought me the tiny Jeff Gordon teddy bear. All memory's of you that I hold on to. I will forever miss you. I will love you forever. On this day 9 years ago you left my life but we will meet again and happiness can be restored.
