I live day to day trying to decide if I can handle the pain. The pain you caused when you left. When you decided I wasn't enough and you couldn't let me in. I smile on the outside, but the pain is deep on the inside. I am breaking. I am shattered. I let you in and you broke me. I finally let down my guard and let someone in, but I shouldn't have. I should have done what I always have done. I should have kept it in and not let anyone see who I was and what I have been through. Now you know the real me. Now I have shown my self to you and I can't erase my image from your mind. It isn't a copy of me it is the real image. What did I do to ruin what we had? What did I do to push you away? How can I fix this? Why do we keep getting separated? What keeps drawing me close to you? Why can't I fill the whole you left? My fake smile can't last much longer. I am slowly fading away. Nobody will notice when I am mentally not here anymore. Not even you. I will miss you. I hope you find someone to confide in.
