Seeing Her
I see her in the hallway and it is so hard. She looks straight ahead and when she looks over I can see the anger in her eyes. I wish she didn't hate me. We haven't been friends for exactly a week today and it is killing me. I can't talk to her. The first day back I almost went to her third period like normal and then I remembered she was gone. I didn't have the privilege of that anymore. She didn't want to be friends anymore and it hurts like hell. I am losing everyone, but if you love them let them go, right. If she loves me she will come back. That hasn't worked with anyone else, but this time it is different.... Maybe. I sit behind her in english and it is hard to see her interact with others. I miss her. First Ronnie, then Gabe, then her. I miss them all like crazy. What did I do to lose them all. I would answer all of their texts in a heartbeat. If you guys are reading this text me and find out. My read notifications are on. I loved every single one of those people. I still do. Angie was there when Ronnie left and when Gabe left. I never thought she would be on this list. I never thought you would leave. I am sorry, but you hurt me and not just when you left. They all hurt me before they left. She was the only one I cried over. I am still crying. I fight back tears when I see you. I can't focus in class so I might have to switch my classes. I hope you can see this. I am sorry. Damn, I am sorry. I hope you liked your christmas gift. Oh, and the birthday letters. I hope you read them. It hurt trying to taking you out of my life, because I can never truly remove you. My memories are all of you. Your pictures I can't delete. I keep them on my phone, but I took them off my walls. This is so hard to write. I lost you and I don't feel like you understand why. I hope this can help me move forward, but I saw your mom in her car the other day and started crying again. You said I didn't care but I hope you see how much I really do. I swear I care. That is why when Mason hugged me I felt guilty. I don't feel like I should talk to him, because he hurt you. I still care. I still am here. I am still forever and always. I won't let go. I hate that you can't look at me. I am sorry. I truly am. I am sorry it had to end this way.
