Memorizing You

Chapter 14

A/N:

This is not Chapter 15. I know I said I will be uploading Chapter 15 immediately after the last chapter but I was not in my right mind. Too many distraction. This is Chapter 14, just so we're clear. :)

~

Chapter 14

The seniors got the day off to prepare for the prom. Jane decided to call Wesley over so that they could hang out and talk about their plans after prom. She knew that he was going to Stanford and take up medicine. She haven't decided to what university to attend to but she decided to go to the community college and stay here for a while.

"Hey, baby." Wesley said as she opened her door and he leaned down and kissed her forehead. He lifted his hand and grinned at her, "Guess what came in today?"

Jane smiled and took the paper, she read the acceptance letter Wesley got from Stanford and she launched herself to him and he spun her around.

"Pft. Teenagers." Tom said and brushed past them, Wesley chuckled and hollered a goodbye to the man.

"I'm really happy for you, Wesley." Jane said and pulled him inside the apartment.

When Jane shut the door behind her, she watched him sit at the couch and stare at the paper. It would mean that they would have a long distance relationship. But could she do that?

There would be tons of much beautiful girls there and he's a guy. She bit her lip and sat down at his lap, trying to enjoy the moment while it still lasts.

~

Jane yawned and shut off the TV, Wesley was snoring lightly beside her, his head laid down to her lap. She shook her head slightly and shifted him so she could stand up. He stirred a bit but went back to snoring.

She was on her way to the kitchen when a soft knock made her turn to the direction of the door. When she opened it, she was stunned to see Linc.

"Hey, Jane." he said, there was a fresh cut on his face, "Uhm.. can we talk?"

Jane looked over her shoulder and sighed, "Give me a minute, wait for me downstairs." she said, sure that all hell would break loose when Linc see Wesley at her couch sleeping like he used to.

Linc nodded and went downstairs. His hands went to his cut and slightly winced, Einstein did that to him and that was the breaking point.

Einstein didn't care about her group, she cared about herself only. He was a fool to believe that he can be a part of them.

Jane scribbled a vague note to Wesley, saying that she went out for a few minutes. That he wait for her until she gets back. She took her jacket and walked out of the apartment.

Linc was leaning at the lamppost when she got down, he looked at her and felt regret wash over him, "Ready?"

Jane nodded and they headed to the direction of the park. They just walked, not really talking. the silence wasn't awkward at all, Jane would look at Linc sometimes, look at his cut and bite her lip.

"So, you and Wesley, huh?" Linc finally said while they made a round on the corner.

"Yeah, Wesley and I." she said.

"Is he treating you good?"

"Yeah. He's really sweet and nice." she said, "I shouldn't be talking to my ex about my current boyfriend."

"No, it's fine. I'm actually glad that he's treating you nice." he said, "I'm really sorry for what happened the last time."

Jane's hand went up to her cheek, "I just don't understand, Linc. I can't forgive you unless I know that your reason behind hitting me is forgivable."

"I was messed up, fucking messed up." he whispered, they arrived at the park and he sat down at the swing, she followed suit and looked at him curiously.

"What happened? Tell me everything, Linc."

"Well, to sum it all up, I felt rejected." he sighed, "I guess, you already know half of it. I like Alice, and she chose Danny. When I got you, it was never enough, not that you weren't enough but I can't help myself compare you to Alice.

"Then I heard about this group, The Genuises. I thought that if no one would accept me, maybe they can. I got in and they told me what they did. It didn't seemed that bad to me, they looked out for me and gave me drugs.

"Then slowly I met each and one of them, they really had fucked up lives like me, and for the first time in my life I felt accepted. A part of something. Then everything gets screwed up." Linc ran his hands through his hair.

Jane laid a hand on his shoulder, "You weren't rejected, Linc. We cared about you." Linc raised his gaze to Jane and saw the sincerity in her eyes.

"Well, now I regret that I ever left you." he said and looked down again, "Einstein, the leader, got mad at all of us. She said that her client, the one that Mozart and I attended to, complained that the tabs were not working.

"I didn't know how but we tried to tell her that maybe it was the equation. That maybe there was an expiration to her drugs, a loss of effect. She just got madder and started hurting all of us." Linc traced the cut that started to throb on his face, "She drew a knife to my face."

Jane took in a breath, imagining how painful that is. She placed a finger on his cut and bit her lip, "You should leave them."

Linc only shook his head, "We can't. We're already tied down, plus she's crazy. Other's were much worse, they got gunshots and a few whips. She's beyond insane." he said.

"Who stiched up your cut? I think you can't go to the hospital because it would raise suspicion." Jane said and held Linc's hand.

"Well, Einstein was smart, The Genuises have their own doctors. Artemis and Mercury. They treated all of the ones that got hurt." he looked at Jane, "But that's not all I want to say to you, Jane."

Jane dropped her gaze, Linc held on to her hand and urged her to look at him. To see the flood of emotions that were pouring out of his eyes.

"I still love you, Jane. I really do. What I did was a mistake, letting you go. I tried to forget about you, tried to push you out of my mind but I can't. I damn shoved you away but I just want to pull you back." he said.

Jane withdrew her hand and Linc let her, she took a deep breath, "I love you too, Linc. But what happened to us is over. Our relationship is beyond repair now. Like you said, you screwed up. We just need to accept that and let each other go."

"I can't." Linc whispered.

"I can't be a puppet, Linc. I can't let you put me down to the floor and tug on the strings that you have control. I can't let you just tug me back to you and get all the strings tangled up again. I have Wesley now."

Linc felt his heart constrict, "You're right."

"I'm really sorry for what happened to us, Linc. What we had was wonderful while it lasted. But I'm tired of hanging on the thin thread."

With that Jane stood up and left him there. In the isolated park, he looked at her retreating figure. Memories flashed to him, happy memories.

He willed himself to stay there and let her walk away.

She already chose Wesley over him. It was a proof that she was over him and it was the only thing he needed to let go of her.

This is for the best, Lincoln. A voice in his head told him, You could keep her safe with this separation.

The voice was right, she was safe and happy.

Linc was sure that his mind would be much more at ease knowing that the only person he really loved was safe and out of harm's way.

He never really loved Alice. That was infatuation. But Jane was love. It could be first love or maybe true love.

He'd never really know.