Trust Issues h.s.

Chapter 1

"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."

(Author's Note: please, remember this always, this is not only a quote for my story but a quote for everyone, if anyone needs someone to talk to always remember you can talk to me... I may not know you and you may not know me, but I will always be here for you if and when you need to talk... about anything... Seriously, i dont mind.)

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After high school, my initial plans were to go straight to USC in the fall semester. I had received a full scholarship with my acceptance as an art major. Never had I planned to take a year off, but I thought it was best to do so. I needed time to recover and be away from society after what had happened. After graduation, I went to USC to let them know of my plans. I was sure that I was going to have to apply again. I was positive that even if they let me back in I would have to pay; I wouldn't be getting a scholarship anymore, at least not a full one. But, to my surprise, they held my spot along with my scholarship offer until the following year. Apparently, they really enjoyed my talent. They said it was far too good to let get away. They were convinced that I was the next Picasso, Da Vinci, or even the next Van Gogh. They said my photography was nearly as great as Ansel Adams. How that's even possible, I'm definitely not sure. I think they were just exaggerating so that I wouldn't go to another school, but whatever their reason I'm glad they let me take a year off.

In my year off, I found myself wanting to stay home. And to be honest, the summer straight out of high school, that is exactly what I did. I stayed home wondering what I did to deserve all the bull shit that had happened in my life. So much had happened that I fell into some serious depression. I guess it didn't help that I had already been in depression in the past. I had tried to take my life once or twice and it wasn't even a month into the summer yet. No one seemed to notice though. But I mean, how could they, after graduation I distanced myself from everyone I knew. I didn't want to see anyone that I considered "friends" cause they all knew. Everyone kept the whole Aaron and Brooke thing from me, so it was like everyone took my trust and friendship and threw it out the window and into a fire pit. 

I guess it helped that I lived in a gated community, cause Finley, the guard at the gate, wouldn't let anyone in to see me. It was kinda hard to keep Aaron away, Travis Anderson, his best friend, lives next door so he would try to come at least once a week to "see him," but Finley knew better. He didn't once let him in, just like he didn't let anyone else in. Travis got a bit upset with me because now none of his friends were allowed to come into our gated community, but I didn't care, I just couldn't handle seeing any of them. I could barely handle seeing him, but I really had no choice about that. I literally only saw my parents and cousins for a few minutes, an hour at most. I hardly ever went out, besides when I would go to work. I work at this small family owned bookstore. The family being my neighbors. My neighbors as in the Andersons... And I guess it's now a book and music store cause their almost done with renovations. Half of the store is a book store the other half is now a music store, and it's actually not that small. But the store is literally always empty, at least during my shifts.

My boss, Jacob, and his oldest son, Dean, were literally the only ones to notice my depression. I guess if it wasn't for them I would have done something stupid. Well I had done something stupid but Dean saved me.

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Dean's my best friend, the only one who has always been there for me... and I mean always, literally since the day I was born. He's 7 years older than me, well 6 years and 4 months older than me but yeah; he is pretty damn gorgeous. Everyone always drools over him. Anyway, I really don't know why he always seems to be the one to save me, but he is.  Actually, when I think about it, he has been nothing but nice to me. As we were growing up, he never once pushed me away or pulled my hair or did anything a boy his age would normally do to a girl. He has always been kind to me and always seemed to find a way to protect or save me or simply just help me. For instance, he was the most amazing friend ever and gave up his Saturday night to go to my lame ass prom. Without being asked to.