Starting over

Chapter 4

"What?!" I ask looking at him and he stares back.

"Oh nothing." He says and walks out of the room.

I shake my head. Maybe I am hearing things. I sit there for a minute and think about what just happened. Harry somehow found a way to calm me down. He voice soothed me. Nothing or no one has been able to do that after the accident. I don't know what it is, but I need Harry. To keep me calm.

I walk out into the kitchen and no one is there. I walk into my living room to see josh holding Tess as she cries. "I don't know what to do. I am losing my best friend. She is falling apart and I'm not enough to help to put her back together. I don't know what to do." She says as tears stream down her face. Neither of them has seen me. I see Harry sitting in the far corner watching me silently.

"I'm sorry." It's all I can say. I don't mean to make things harder for everyone.

Startled, Tess looks over at me. "Oh Becca I didn't see you there!"

Tears stream down my face. "I have had enough crying. But I just don't know how to stop. I have spent a month of my life doing absolutely nothing because I cried for everything. I am sorry I am bothering you guys with being so emotional. I will try to be better."

"Oh honey. You didn't bother us. We are just worried about you. We want you to get better and back to normal. We will be here for you no matter what." Josh nods and Harry just looks at me as Tess talks.

"Thank you." I say sighing and sitting down on the couch.

"Want to watch a movie?" She asks looking through the DVDs I have.

"Sure. You guys choose which one though." As josh and Tess decide on a movie I look over at Harry. He has a blank expression on his face. I should go talk to him but I didn't do anything.

"How about this one?" Tess holds up Breakfast Club. I nod and we all sit on the couch.

"Harry come on, sit with us!" Tess says and he gets up and sits down next to me.

As we watch the movie, I start to get really tired. All these emotions and crying really gets to me. Josh is sitting to my right and Harry to my left. I lean my head on Harry's shoulder. I look to see if he objects. He just looks down at me and gives me a small smile. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

I wake up but I don't move. The movie ended and josh, Harry and Tess are talking. "She is really broken. Are you sure?" Josh asks Harry.

"She needs someone to help her piece herself back together. I want to be that person. I am willing to do whatever it takes." He says putting his big hand over my little hand.

"Thank you. She needs someone other than me. She listens to me but if it is being said from someone else, she would listen." Tess says and I can hear the emotion in her voice.

"I won't hurt her." Harry says brushing my hair out of my face.

"You better not or else you would have some problems." Josh says.

There is a pause and I use this time to 'wake up'. I lift my head and yawn a little. "Look who is awake." Tess says smiling at me.

"How long was I out?" I ask them curious.

"Only about two hours." Harry says smiling kindly at me. There is something else in his eyes that I have never seen before.

"That's good. I haven't been sleeping well lately." I say. "Is there more pizza left?" My stomach growls and Tess smiles a little.

"Yes. There is a little left."

"Actually.." Harry says before I get up. "I ate the last bit of it. Sorry about that. Let's order a new one." He grabs his phone and orders another pizza.

"I am so hungry!" I say loudly.

"That's a good thing!" Tess says. I know she thinks that I am getting better. But in reality I don't really feel any better but I am playing it off that I am ok. I don't want to worry them anymore.

"Maybe not! I might starve before the pizza gets here!" I say laughing.

"They are crazy fast. Don't worry!" Harry says smiling.

"Let's hope!" Maybe I am making it too obvious but I am trying to make it seem like I am super happy. Maybe I should tone it down a little.

"Can we listen to some music?" I ask.

"Sure. I have music on my phone." Harry says plugging it into the speakers and puts it on shuffle. The first song that comes on is They Don't Know About Us. Tears come to my eyes but I hold them in.

Josh and Harry start singing the songs and Tess and I dance to them. Josh turns up the volume and we get up and all dance. I hear the doorbell ring and I run to go get it. Harry comes with me and pays the pizza man.

We bring the pizza into the kitchen and I grab a plate and dig in. He grabs a plate and eats more also. "How are you eating more?!" I ask laughing.

"I am a growing boy!" He says smirking at me.

"I forgot how much guys eat." I say smiling weakly and Harry looks at me worried again.

"This is the best pizza in the city!" Harry says trying to change the subject.

"Oh is it?" I say smiling again.

"Yes. Doesn't it taste a lot better than the other pizza we had?"

"Maybe." I say and he looks hurt.

Josh and Tess come in and grab some pizza also. "Oh my gosh this is the best pizza!" Josh says.

"Told you." Harry says smirking at me. After we eat we go back to the living room and dance again. This time, Harry pulls me close to him. We keep dancing and he looks into my eyes. I smile a little and he is smirking at me. He grabs in a looks like he is going to kiss me. I back away and sit down on the couch. I put my head in my hands.

"Becca, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...." He gets cut off by josh.

"What did you do?" Josh says looking at Harry harshly.

"I... I...." He stutters. "I tried to kiss her."

"Give her some space!" Josh yells at Harry. I look up to see josh pinning Harry against the wall. Tess tries to pull him away but he doesn't move.

"Josh. Stop. Please." I say weakly.

"Are you ok?" Tess sits down next to me and puts her arm around me.

"Yeah. I'm ok. I just need to go to sleep." I say and get up and start walking to my bedroom.

"Becca! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.." Harry says and I look back at him and give him a sad look. He looks at me then down at his feet. I lay down into bed and fall asleep.