Starting over

Chapter 42

I get up and get dressed. I grab some food then head over to Tess's room. She doesn't open the door so I go to Zayn's room. He opens right away.

"What's up?" He says and I shrug my shoulders.

"Nothing. I am in a good mood." He looks at me, confused.

"You were so upset yesterday what happened?" He says and I look away. I know he won't be happy about this but maybe he will be happy for me.

"Well Tess and I went to a bar and I met this guy. He is really sweet." I say and his mouth drops open. I freeze by his reaction.

"Don't tells Harry that. He is either going to flip and go to find him or he won't leave his room, only for shows." I am stunned by what he is saying. Harry doesn't care about me that much, does he?

"Ok. I won't." I say quietly. I wanted Zayn to be happy for me. But instead he ruined my mood.

"I'm sorry. That's not how I should have responded." He says once he sees how disappointed I am. "I am happy for you." He says and he hugs me. I smile a little and he frowns.

"I don't know what to do anymore." I tell him and he nods. "While I was talking to him last night, all I could think about was Harry. I didn't want to be but I was. Everything he did reminded me of Harry. I didn't notice last night but now I see. I like him but never like I love Harry."

He sits down next to me. "See how he is. Then if you don't feel the same, you know Harry will always be here for you. I know you have been through a lot with boyfriends but maybe starting new again will be good for you." I nod and he hugs me again. "I am sorry this is all happening. You don't deserve any of it."

"Thank you." I say and a tear falls down my cheek. He takes his finger and wipes it away.

"Don't cry. You should go out with this guy again and see how you like him. You should take him to the show tonight." I nod and he smiles.

"But Harry will see." I say and he shrugs.

"It might push him over the edge but maybe that's what he needs to know how much he really loves you." He says when someone opens the door. Niall walks in and looks surprised to see me. He looks like he is about to say something but then he decides not to. He turns around and leaves.

I look at Zayn then another tear falls down my cheek. "I just hurt everyone."

"No. You don't. Niall is ok. He has Julianna anyway. She is coming to the show tonight too." He says and I smile. I am happy that Niall has someone now.

"I better get ready for rehearsals. I need to call Steven too. Remember look presentable!" I say getting up and he laughs.

"I will try my best." He smiles and gets up too. "Oh and perrie and louis girlfriend Eleanor will be coming too. This is going to be a very good show!" He says and I laugh.

As soon as I am out in the hall I grab my phone and call Steven. He says he would love to come to the show. I am about to walk into my room when I hear a door slam. I didn't even notice that someone was in the hall. It sounded like it was Harry's door and I frown. Maybe this for the best.

I get ready for the concert. I dress up a little bit more because Steven is coming. As I am putting my makeup on I hear a knock on the door then someone walks in.

"I'm in the bathroom!" I say and Niall walks in. I jump and nearly smear eyeliner across my cheek.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I just want to talk. Be friends again." He says and I smile. He goes and sits on the toilet with the lid down as if it was a regular seat and watches me put on my makeup.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I ask him as I switch eyes.

"I don't know. Who are you going out with tonight?" He asks. I honestly wasn't surprised.

"Steven. I met him at a bar the other night. He is really sweet." I say and he looks hurt. He quickly changes his expression to seem happy for me.

"That's great! I am glad you are happy." He says and I can tell he is faking his excitement for me." I turn to him and he freezes.

"Look. I know this is hard for you but it's hard for me too. I love both you and Harry. I can't date either of you. I don't want our friendship to be broken because of me. It's also way too much drama for me to handle. My heart was broken once when I lost Daniel then again for Harry. And it broke my heart saying no to you. I can't handle much more drama. I thought dating a regular guy would be good for me." I say and he looks down at his hands. I pause for a minute then go back to putting the finishing touches on my makeup.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I will leave." He gets up and I grab his arm before he leaves.

"No. Don't." I sigh and he sits back down. "It's just been a crazy week for me. I feel like I am moving to fast into another relationship but Tess says it's will help with the pain. So I am going to try it out and see."

He nods his head slowly. "I understand. I have lost someone too." He says looking into my eyes and I have to look away or I will start to cry and ruin my makeup. "Are you guys going out after the concert?"

"I'm not sure. If you guys are then I guess we will too." I say putting some lip gloss on.

"All the rest of the lads have someone coming to the concert too." Niall says and I smile. I can't wait to meet Eleanor and to see Perrie again.

"Oh right! Who is Harry and Liam bringing?" I ask him and he looks down again. "What?"

"Liam is bringing his girlfriend Sophia and Harry is bringing some girl, I don't know who she is." I gasp and I can't believe what I am hearing. Harry is bringing someone else. I guess he needs to move on too. My feelings for him come back and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking that he has another girl. Has she always been there? Or is he trying to make me jealous?

"Oh. Great." I say after a while.

"You ok?" Niall asks getting up and grabbing my arm. "You look really pale."

"I'm fine. I just need some air." I say and I wave his hand away. I walk out of the room without grabbing a jacket. I walk down the stairs and right out of the hotel. They have benches in the front and I sit down. I stare into space and think. I need to stop feeling this way about Harry. He is no good. He has only played with my emotions.

"Becca are you ok?" Zayn says coming up and sitting down next to me. I nod slowly. "Niall told me what happened. Becca you have to answer me. Are you ok?" He asks again.

"I am fine." I say weakly. "I am just thinking."

"Well don't hurt yourself." He says and I smile.

"I will try my best." I pause and think about what I am about to say. "I still love Harry but I don't want to. And with him bring this other girl, I don't know how I feel about it. I am relieved that he has moved on but it also hurts really bad."

"That happens. But it will get better. Once we get to the concert you will forget all about it." I nod and then I see Steven. I wave and he walks up to us.

I get up and give him a hug. He smiles widely. "I am really glad you called!"

"Me too." I say and I look at Zayn. He is looking at Steven as though he is a dad looking at his daughters first date. I shake my head and we wait for the others to come down to go to the venue.