Starting over

Chapter 41

I wake up and my eyes are still red and swollen. I rinse off my face and start to apply some makeup. Finally I am done making myself look presentable, I get dressed and head out the door to check on Liam, Louis, and Zayn.

I check on Zayn first. I knock and he opens the door immediately. He looks me up and down and I try my hardest to hold myself together.

"Are you ok?" He asks as I follow him into his room.

I nod. "I am fine." I say weakly and I know he doesn't believe me.

"You are a terrible liar." He says and I nod again. I sit down and look down at my lap. "Beca, how are you really doing?"

"I'm here. Alive. I really have nothing to complain about." He gives me a look and I stop. "I am doing terribly. I feel like I am about to explode any minute. Nothing seems happy anymore. My whole life is over. I see nothing exciting or worth my time. I just want to lay on my bed and not move for days. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. My world is crumbling around me and I can't get away in time." I wipe my eyes before my makeup starts to run.

"You don't deserve him. You honestly don't. You are too good for him. I know he never meant to have that happen but that is no excuse for it to happen. It will take time but you will move on. You will find someone else who will treat you right." He says holding my hand.

"See but that's the thing." I say getting up and pacing the room. "Harry was as good to me as any man could have and more. He was sweet, giving me little things and not pushing me to do anything. It was just this one time." I pause by the window and look out. "It's funny how one event could change our whole lives forever."

Zayn comes up behind me and hugs me from behind. He smells like Harry. "Zayn stop." I say and turn around to see Harry is the one holding me.

"I know you are mad but at least call me by the right name." He says and I frown. I turn away so my back faces him so he can't see my face.

"Harry go away. I don't want to talk to you." I say and I can feel his breathe on my neck. He chuckles.

"I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry and that I love you, if it's the last thing I say to you." He says and I hear footsteps and I turn to see Harry gone.

I breathe out and relax again. "Zayn why did you let him in?" I ask him sternly.

"He was very determined." Zayn says massaging his shoulder.

"I don't want to talk to him again." I say and he nods. I head on to check in with Liam and Louis. We drive to rehearsals and I don't even look at Harry. It is an awkward and quiet ride.

"You ok?" Tess says and I nod.

"I am sorry about last night. I couldn't control myself." I say and she looks surprised.

"Why are you apologizing? Harry was a jerk and it's only human to be upset." She hugs me and we sit and what them practice for the show.

Once we get back to the hotel we have a couple hours to kill before we have to be there for the show. "Do you want to go shopping? To take your mind off things?" And I nod. We drive to the store. We don't put disguises on because we figure since we aren't with the boys no one will recognize us.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Are you Becca and Tess? You tour with the boys right? Becca how is Harry?" Some girl says and I turn around. There is a whole group of girls smiling at us.

"I don't really want to talk about it." I say turning around.

"Is she ignoring us?" One of the girl says and I roll my eyes.

"She is not in the mood right now. Can you please leave us alone?" Tess asks and the girls give is dirty looks but walk away. "Kids these days." She says as she shakes her head.

We continue to shop and we don't get disturbed again. I find a couple things but it doesn't help clear my mind. I am consistently thinking about Harry. He hasn't left my mind since it happened. How could he do something like this to me? I don't deserve it, do I? Maybe he never really liked me. Maybe this means we aren't meant together. But I want to be together.

"You ok?" Tess says as we are driving. I nod but she doesn't seem convinced. "Forget about him. You don't need him. Why don't we go find you someone new?" I never thought of that. Moving on. Maybe that will help. Or maybe it will just make it worse.

"Ok." I say and she smiles at me.

"After the show tonight let's go out. It will be fun!" She says smiling at me. I try to smile back but it is more of a half smile. Maybe this is what I need.

We get to the hotel and make sure the boys are dressed and ready to go. Then we call pile into the car and head to the venue. Tess and I take our seats and wait for the show to start. After that we head back to the hotel and get ready to go out. I put a dress on and some heels. I do my hair and make up then head over to Tess's room.

"Don't you look nice." Zayn says as he closes his door. "Where are you going?"

"Out." I say and open the door.

"What about Harry?" He says and I look at him surprised. I have no connection with Harry anymore.

"Screw him." I smile sweetly at him and he looks surprised. His mouth drops and he shakes his head. I walk into Tess's room and see her almost ready.

"Ready to go!" She says and I smile. "It's just going to be a girls night out. Don't worry." She says smiling.

"Good. I just need to relax." We grab our coats and walk down the hallway. Harry opens his door when we walk past.

"Where are you going?" He asks and neither Tess or I answer him. He slams the door and I roll my eyes.

"I wish he wasn't such a drama queen. Obviously we are done." I say and Tess smiles.

"I am so glad you are feeling better." She says and we head for a local bar. We find a place that looks nice but has a cozy feel. We sit down at the bar and order a drink.

Someone sits down next to me. "Hello love." I turn to see a guy with gorgeous features and nice hair. He smiles at me and I snap out of it.

"Hey." That's all I can say. I am still dizzy from his looks.

"You two came alone?" He asks looking at Tess then me.

"Yeah. Girls night out!" Tess says and I laugh. We start to talk and he is the sweetest. It is almost two when I look at the clock above the bar.

"We probably should be going but it was great talking." I say about to get up and he grabs my hand.

"Can I see you again?" He asks and I am shocked.

"Sure." I grab a pen from the bar and write my number on the napkin. He smiles and helps me get my jacket on. What a gentleman!

We walk out and get a taxi to head back to the hotel. "I knew this was a good idea." Tess says smiling.

Since we left I couldn't stop smiling either. "You are a genius!" She laughs.

We walk upstairs and everyone seems asleep. I go into my room and take my shoes off. I wash my face and change into my pajamas. I lay down and check my phone. Someone text me.

'Hey. It's Steven from the bar. I never learned your name. I had a great time. I hope I can see you again xx'

I smile and text him back. I fall asleep thinking about my day. Things have changed. I hope it's a good thing.