Starting over

Chapter 19

Harry gently wakes me up once we get to the camp site. "Wake up Becca, we are here."

I slowly open my eyes and stretch. "Ok. I will be out in a minute."

"I wouldn't be too long because louis still wants to wake you up." He smirks at me then climbs out of the car. I put my shoes on then climb out of the car.

"Wow." I say looking around to see all the trees. "We are in the middle of no where."

"That just makes it more fun." Louis says in my ear from behind. I jump and he chuckles.

"Don't scare me like that!" I say smacking him on the arm.

"I will try to remember." He says and walks away.

"We should put the tents up first." Liam says.

"You should do that liam. You are the only one who actually knows how to put up a tent." Niall says laughing.

"Fine. Then you guys need to go find some fire wood." He says taking the tents out.

"We can split up so we will find more." Harry says looking at me.

"Sure." Josh says looking at Tess and smirking.

"Let's go." Harry says grabbing hold of my hand. I don't know how I feel about this. I know he wouldn't push me to do anything but I still don't feel very comfortable.

"You seem tense." Harry says looking at me as we collect wood. "You know you can trust me. I don't want to hurt you or push you to do something."

"I know." I try to look more relaxed but I don't think it worked.

"You don't trust me." He says looking hurt.

"It's not that. I just..." I pause. "Since the accident I have had trust issues. I don't know why because the accident didn't have anything to do with trust. You and the boys have been the first new people I have trusted since then. But I am still not 100 percent yet." He nods his head.

"I understand." He sounds sad. I look at him and his head is down.

"Harry." I pause and wait for him to look at me. "I like you. And I am really trying to get better. Not for me. But for you. I know it's hard for you but I am honestly trying."

"Thank you. Just don't push yourself to far." He says smiling slightly.

"If I don't push myself then I won't get better. Before I wasn't pushing myself. I was staying in the past. But now that I have motivation, I am getting better." I smile at him and he smiles back. We collect the rest if the wood in silence then we head back to camp.

"You guys were a long time." Niall raises his eyebrows.

I blush and look at Harry. Then Harry looks at me. "Stop it." He says and glares at Niall. Niall puts his hands up as a defense. He looks at me and I give him a weak smile.

Liam has all the tents up. Louis is starting to make the fire with the wood everyone else brought. He curses when the wood falls over. I giggle and he looks up and pretends to look mad. Once he gets the fire going we all sit around and the boys start to sing some of their songs.

"I wanna be last, yeah,

Baby, let me be your,

Let me be your last first kiss,

I wanna be first, yeah,

Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this,

And if you

Only knew.

I wanna be last, yeah,

Baby, let me be your last,

Your last first kiss."

They all sing. Josh starts banging some sticks on a log while Tess and I are smiling and laughing.

"Like I said before you sing like angels and look like some too." I smile and they all blush a little.

"Why don't you sing something?" Harry asks me.

"First of all, I don't listen to the kind of music you guys listen too. And second of all, I can't sing." I look down at my feet.

"It doesn't matter what you sing. And you voice is really good." Liam says smiling kindly at me.

"Thanks. But...." I start to say but louis interrupts.

"You are going to sing if it's the last thing you do. And I will make sure of that." He says trying to seem scary but he is just so cute that it doesn't work.

"Fine. But don't laugh." I start to sing one of my favorite songs. The Great Gig In The Sky by Pink Floyd.

"And I am not frightened of dying,

any time will do,

I Don't mind.

Why should I be frightened of dying?

There's no reason for it,

you've gotta go sometime." I sing and everyone stops and just looks at me. I blush and I don't make eye contact with anyone.

Once I am done singing the song, no one says anything. I look down at my feet when Tess says something. "I didn't know you could sing." She smiles at me kindly.

"Well everyone can sing, but not everyone can sing well." I say blushing.

"But you can." Zayn says smiling.

"You guys must be deaf because I can't sing. I never sing in front of anyone because I can't." I refuse to meet anyone's eyes.

Niall sits down next to me. "You can sing no matter what you say. If you don't feel comfortable singing that is fine. We don't want to push you. But you have a really nice voice. You should use it sometime." He smiles kindly and puts his hand on my thigh. I look up to see Harry glaring at him but Niall ignores him.

"Thanks. I just don't want to sing." I say stubbornly.

"And that's fine." He says as he pats my leg then gets up and sits where he was before. We finally go to sleep after talking well into the night. Tess and I sleep in a separate tent then everyone else.

"You ok?" She asks me once we get into our sleeping bags.

"Yeah. I just don't understand you guys sometimes." I say starting to close my eyes.

"You have a really good voice. We just wanted you to know." She says turning onto her side to look at me.

"I don't think I do." I say my eyes getting heavier.

"Be more confident in yourself. You are amazing and not just in singing." Those were the last words I heard before I fall into a deep sleep.

(I won't be updating this story for a while. I don't feel like writing right now. And I feel like no one reads this far anyway. I probably will start writing again. Anyways, I don't know how long it will be but it will be a couple of days I think. I love you all.)