Starting over

Chapter 38

3 weeks later

We have had three weeks of shows nonstop. We left Julianna in Italy because she has to work. Niall was devastated but she says she will be able to come to a show very soon. We have kept up our video diaries and my Instagram account.

Harry and I are currently have a fight and I haven't talked to him in two days. It was over something stupid. He went out drinking and having fun with the boys. He didn't tell me and the other boys didn't tell me he was going with them. He was out until four in the morning. I was worried out of my mind. I forgave the other boys because they assumed I knew but Harry has no excuse.

I know I am not his mother but I have already had something bad happen to my last boyfriend. I don't want it to happen again. I have also seen the man that kidnapped us more and more often. He is getting closer and closer to me. Security has kept an eye out for him but none of them see him.

I sleep in the separate bed in Harry's and my room. He hasn't tried to apologize and that's what hurts me the most. It doesn't seem like he cares that I stopped talking to him. He just goes on with life as if I was never part of his life. The others insist that it is hurting him more than I know but I don't believe them.

There is another concert again tonight. I make sure the boys look presentable, which they always do, and send them out for hair and make up. I sit down in a chair before I collapse. I put my head in my hands and my shoulders shake as I sob. Tess comes to comfort me but I am too upset. She takes me back to my room.

"Becca. What's wrong?! Did Harry do something?" She asks me as she hands me some tissues.

I wipe my eyes and take a shaky breathe. "It's what he didn't do." She looks at me confused. "He hasn't apologized or done anything to show that he is sorry."

"I know you are mad but does it really matter anymore? I mean how serious of a thing did he do?" She asks and I look at her. She hugs me. "C'mon. Let's go back to the concert. I am sure the boys will be wondering where we are." She grabs my hand and we go back to the concert.

I sit back and watch the boys. They are happy. They love doing this. They are happy when they are performing and are on stage. I feel like I don't belong here. The only reason I am here is because of Harry and he is mad at me now. Maybe I should just go back home.

After the concert is over we go back to the hotel. We eat some food and go to our rooms. Harry changes and lays in bed. He turns off the light. When I think he is asleep I start to pack up my things. I hear him stir and I stop moving for a minute.

"What are you doing?" He says and I don't answer him. "If you are still mad at me I am sorry. But please just answer this one question if it's the into thing you will say to me. What are you doing?" He asks again and I look up. He looks tired and his hair is a mess. His voice is a little scratching either from just waking up or from straining it during the concert.

I sigh and stop what I am doing. "Leaving." And that's all I need to say. He sits up quick and looks at me, worried.

"Babe don't leave. I mean it. I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you more by apologizing and having it backfire. You have to believe me. Baby please stay." He says getting up and sitting next to me. He grabs hold of my hand and kisses it.

I close my eyes. I don't know what to think. Either he is really good at lying, has me under his spell or actually means what he says. "Ok." I put all my stuff back and I sit down.

"You are still mad aren't you." He says sitting down on the bed.

"Yes but not from what I was mad about before." I say and he tilts his head to look at me. I continue. "You never tried to say sorry or anything. I thought you didn't care anymore." I say and the tears fill my eyes. He sits down next to me as the first tear falls. He wipes it away and kisses my cheek.

My heart flutters. "You know I love you. And I will forever. I was giving you some space. I didn't want to make you more upset. But I guess it didn't really work out." He says smiling a little. I smile slightly and he kisses me. He picks me up and places me on the bed. He tucks me into bed then crawls under the covers next to me. He puts his arm around me and falls asleep.

I smile to myself. How do I always get into these situations? I need to calm down. It's not a big deal. I don't understand why I make things that are so small such a big deal. I slowly fall asleep.

When I wake up Harry isn't in bed. Why didn't he wake me up? I get up and see a note at the end of the bed. I open it and read. 'Get dressed and head over to zayns room.' It says and I get dressed.

I walks to zayns room and knock on the door. He comes and opens it. He smiles at me and grabs his jacket. He doesn't say a word to me when we get into the car. He hands the driver a piece of paper and he starts to drive.

"Zayn what is this about? Where is Harry?" I say and he just looks at me smiling. "Answer me!" I say and he chuckles a little.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you. But it's a surprise, you will see." That's all he says and I sit back and relax. Finally the car stops and zayn helps me out of the car. He leads me to a pathway. He puts my arm through his arm and leads me down the path. There are ribbons and other decorations.

"Zayn what is this?" I ask and he doesn't say anything. I look around and at the end of the pathway I see Harry in a dress shirt and his typical skinny black jeans. There is a table with a white table cloth and flowers in the middle. There is some food and Harry pulls out the chair for me to sit down. He then sits down across from me. Zayn leaves me with Harry.

"Harry what is this for?" I ask him and he smiles.

"You will see. Just wait." He says and we start to eat. We start to talk about random things. I am really confused because I don't know what is going on. I look at Harry and he smiles at me. I have never seen him this happy.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" He says and I nod. He helps me out of my chair and holds my hand. He takes me down another path and to a spot at the top of a hill with a fantastic view. He stops and turns to me. He is now holding both of my hands and I look up at him. He smiles but looks nervous. I can feel his hands shaking and I squeeze them.

"Becca." He says, pausing and taking a shaky breathe. "I have known you for only about six months but you have become my everything." I realize what is happening and tears come to my eyes. "We have had our ups and downs but we have always gotten through them. Becca you are my everything. I love you with all my heart." He pauses and looks at me with tears in his eyes as he kneels down on one knee. "Becca, will you marry me?" He asks and even though I knew it was coming it threw me off.

Do I want to get married now? Is this the right thing to do? I have only known Harry for six months. Is that long enough to know if we are right for each other? He starts to look worried at how long it is taking me to answer. I decide to go with my gut.

"Yes!" I say with tears streaming down my face. He puts the ring on my finger and twirls me around. He kisses me and we are both crying now. We walk back to the table and zayn is there to walk us back to the car. He high fives Harry and smiles. We head back to the hotel to tell the others.