Starting over

Chapter 29

I wake up in the middle of the night. I get up and walk into the bathroom. I look in the mirror and see a tear stained face. I wash my face then I go get something to eat. I turn on the tv and just sit and eat.

Harry said he would never hurt me. He said he will always be there for me. But look what happened. Daniel never did anything like this. But he is dead. I look at my phone and see that Harry has called and texted about thirty times. I call the only person who could help me. Zayn.

"Hey. Becca are you ok?" He says when he picks up the phone.

"I don't know." I reply and the tears stream down my face again. "I don't know what to do zayn."

"I am coming over and I'm bring Niall. He has been worried sick about you." He hangs up and I go to change into some yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I put my hair up and then I hear a knock on the door. I open it and see zayn and Niall standing there. The first thing they do is give me a huge hug.

"You boys are the best." I say when I see they brought ice cream and popcorn.

"Let's go sit down and tell us everything." Zayn says and we go into the living room. We sit down on the couch and I tell them the whole story.

"I'm sorry." Zayn says patting my leg.

"I knew you were too good for him." Niall says and shakes his head.

"Excuse me?" I say and he repeats.

"Becca, I have always liked you. But with Harry, I couldn't." He says and I look away. "I don't mean to make you upset. But I could love you better than he does."

The tears stream down my face. Zayn gives Niall a look and rubs my back. Niall gets up and leaves. He walks right out of the door. I cry into zayns shoulder. "Zayn I don't know what to do." I say once I calm down.

"To be honest, I don't know either." He says hugging me. "Just don't think about it. Go hang out with Tess tomorrow. Have fun. Forget about them. We are going on tour in a couple of days then you won't have to worry about it for a while." He says and I nod.

"Thank you for everything." I say and he nods.

"Now I am going to go find Niall. Go get some sleep." I nod and he walks me to my bedroom. He tucks me in and leaves. I close my eyes but I don't fall asleep. I am too worked up to sleep. I hear my phone buzz and I have two messages one from Harry and one from Niall. I sigh and read them.

'Becca I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You have to know that. I want to talk to you in person. Please answer me.' Harry says.

'Becca I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry. You can choose whoever you want. But I will be better to you.' Niall says.

I sigh and sit back. I won't reply to either of them. I need a break. I lay back down and plug my phone in. I starts to ring and I check to see who it is. It's Tess. I answer it right away.

"Becca. I heard what happened! What a jerk! I will be right over! And it's only me!" She says and I nod.

"Thank you." I say and we hang up. I look at the clock. It is 3 in the morning. Why are they are still awake? I lay in bed until Tess unlocks the door.

"Becca where are you?" She asks.

"In my bedroom!" I yell back. She rushes and takes of her shoes and gets in bed with me.

"I am so sorry." She says hugging me.

"It's not your fault." I say trying to hold the tears in. "Did you hear about Niall?" I ask her and she nods.

"Everyone knew but you." She says and my mouth falls open.

"Why wasn't I told?" I ask her and she looks at me helplessly.

"I don't know. Niall didn't want you to know. And neither did Harry." She says and immediately regrets it.

"That is important information to know. Do they think I can't handle it?! I am so done with all of them. I want nothing to do with them." I yell. I try to stifle a sob but I can't any longer. She hugs me and holds me close.

"You don't mean that. Don't say something like that. They all care about you." She says.

"Obviously Harry also cares about jade." I say her name as if it is poison.

"No! Honey he loved you and he still does. I can tell by the look in his eyes when he looks at you. I doubt anyone could make him look like that." She says squeezing me tighter.

"I just need some time to think about what is going on. I don't know what to do." I say and I start to relax. I fall asleep with Tess trying to get my mind off of what happened.

I wake up to a loud knock on my door. I start to get up but Tess gets up faster and runs to the door.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" She asks him.

"I came to see Becca." He says his speech slurring.

"Harry your drunk. Go home. Actually let me call josh to take you home. You shouldn't be driving." She says. "Harry leave her alone. Don't you think you have done enough damage." She yells at him.

"I need to see her!" He says and I hear him stumbling to the hallway.

"Harry!" Tess yells. "If you go in there, you won't be able to see her again." She says but he keeps walking towards my bedroom. I huddle in my bed pull the covers up.

I see him in the doorway. He is leaning against the door for support. "Becca!" He yells and I flinch. "I am so sorry baby. Forgive me! Jade means nothing to me. You are my everything."

I feel tears streaming down my face again. "Harry please go." I say softly.

"Becca. Don't make me leave. I need you." He falls onto his knees and I can now see the tears streaming down his face.

I can't bear to see him like this. "Harry please. I will talk to you tomorrow when you are sober. Ok?" I say.

"Promise?"

"Promise." And Tess leads him out of my room. She shoots my a sympathetic look. I wipe my cheeks and lay down. I hear josh come and take Harry away. I feel Tess come back into the bed.

"You ok?" I ask her.

"I don't know anymore." I say. I drift off into a fitful sleep. I dream of Harry with jade.