Love Forever || Jawyer

Chapter 18: Lost

[Joey's POV]

What's wrong with me..? Why can't I keep my emotions straight? What will happen if Sawyer finds wout and thinks something else and...no. That can't happen, right? I start to cry, knowing Sawyer would and break up with me. I drove slowly, not wanting to come home. I regret everything I just did..

I got home 18 minutes later since Cat's place isn't that far. I braced myself for the worst and walked through the door. I saw Sawyer with Shane, quietly talking on the couch. They both looked up at me. Sawyer got up and I put on an under-achieving smile.

Joey: Hey..guys.

Sawyer: Don't act like NOTHING happened, Joey.

Joey: What do you mean..?

Sawyer: You KISSED CAT!

Joey: Sawyer, I-

Sawyer: Joey, I can't believe you kissed her, fucking..

He started mumbling curses and I started to feel heartbroken.

Joey: Sawyer just let m-

Sawyer: W-Were over..

My mouth dropped open and I started sobbing.

Joey: Sawyer, no. Please!

Sawyer: Joey..j-just GO!

I walked out, crying. I hopped in Satsuki and drove to my only hope, Meghan.

[Shane's POV]

Sawyer went way too hard on Joey.

Shane: You DO realize Joey is a VERY sensitive person?

Sawyer: Yeah, bu-

Sawyer is pissing me off right now, again. Treating Joey like that makes me incredibly annoyed.

Shane: NO BUTS! YOU LOVE HIM RIGHT!?

He nodded.

Shane: Go apologize.

Sawyer: He hurt me, though.

·

Shane: Yeah, and he could do something fucking stupid that could make him die. THEN WHAT!?

Sawyer looked down, thinking.

He got up, got his keys, and rushed out.

[Joey's POV]

Meghan opened the door.

Meghan: Joey, what's wrong??

Joey: Can I come in?

Meghan: Yeah, of course..

Meghan let me in so I walked inside. I sat down on her couch and started to cry silently.

Joey: He..he told me we were over..

Meghan: What!? Why!?

Joey: I...we.. Cat and I kissed.

Meghan: Joey.. why..?

Joey: I hate myself.

Meghan: Don't say that, Joey..

Joey: I will! I screw things up all the time! My life will lead to nothing! Pure nothing,Meghan!

Meghan: Joey, I think you need to relax..

I nodded and went straight to Meghan's guest room. I looked around and started to cry.

Nobody would want me. Nobody would love me. I don't have a point anymore. Sawyer won't want me back. More negative thoughts poured into my head like raindrops in a hurricane. Then a voice started to talk to me.

Just die. Sawyer doesn't need you! He probably wants Shane! You're nothing to him, just a fly that bugged him for all their relationship started.

The voice kept speaking to me, telling me to die, cut, saying I'm worthless. I fell to the floor, crying. I want Sawyer. I looked over at the door, bathroom. No. No. No. No cutting. I got up. I walked out of the bedroom and saw that Meghan was in the living room

Meghan: Joey, I called over Sawyer.

Joey: ..Doesn't he hate me?

Meghan: Joey, he sounded extremely worried on the phone.

Joey: He's probably acting.

Meghan: Joey, come on. He loves you.

I walked out the door, not knowing it was raining. I kept walking, not caring about Satsuki or Meghan. At this point, no one was on my side. I heard Meghan in the distance, screaming at me. I looked down as I walked. I bumped into a man and the man started cursing at me.

Man: Watch where you're going, man.

I kept walking. I saw cars passing by splashing water. I soon saw nearby, a park. I crossed the wet street and walked over. I sat down on a cold bench and looked down, thinking. I soon realized I wasn't a sweater and I was freezing.. I could get hypothermia or something..

I'm so lost now. I don't know about anything. My life can turn upside-down in seconds. It's impossible to enjoy it at times. Sitting there, I remember what Shane had said to me. Don't run away from your problems.. I love Sawyer too much to just run away.

[Sawyer's POV]

Joey was the only person on my mind. Why didn't I let him talk? If I let him talk he might not of left the house. Did he even have his phone? I called him.. One ring..Two Rings...Three....

Voicemail.

What if killed himself..? Would he do that? That's impossible. This is all my fault

Sawyer: I love him too much to lose him.

// Can't you see that you're smothering me.

Holding too tightly afraid to lose control.

Cause everything that you thought I would be,

Has fallen apart right in front of you.\\

____________________________________________________________________

BAHM. GUYSSSS OMFG! I deleted this chapter and it was PERF before! LIKE FUUUUDGE. Do you guys like this chapter?? I thibk it's okay =P Anyway...

Question of le day: Have. you ever accidentally deleted the chapter you worked SO hard on? :O

MAY THE ODDS BE EVAR IN YOUR FAVOR! GOOD DAMN BYE <3