Study Buddy: A Chris & Miya Story

Chapter 59

Chris

School's started up tomorrow. And it's going to be filled with madness. Most of it conflicted within myself.

I've been pacing up and down her driveway, contemplating if I should do this now. It's just so many problems and I can't believe I'm resorting to this. She wouldn't believe me if I told her that it was a mistake—okay maybe it wasn't. Maybe I have to take responsibility and just be a man about it.

So here I go, I knock twice on her door before realizing I should've just rung the doorbell. Idiot. I ring the doorbell and wait. I breathe in and breathe out, damn I should've smoke before I came here.

And there she is. Opening the door with a wild smile, immediately trying to come in for a hug. I inch away and I know she's confused.

The truth? I have to let her know. I can't take the guilt that's eating me alive, I just can't do it anymore. She's staring at me with this look and... It's making me wish I could time travel. Why can't this be like the movies? I keep pushing things under the rug, but today's the day. I have to put an end to these games.

I swept her hands into mine and kiss them. "Tiana..." I whisper against her hands. "We can't be doing this anymore."

She slowly pulls her hands away from me. "Th-this sounds like a breakup and we were never even officially together..." She says. She steps outside and shuts the door behind herself.

"I know but it—"

"Felt like it." She finishes my sentence. We stare at each other for awhile, I'm unable to search for the words. But I decided, I was repeating Thomas' question in my head, there's a feeling between Tiana and I; but I like Miya more.

"I can't stop fucking with you." She confessed, causing me to look at her teary eyes. "I guess I'm dumb for wearing my heart on my sleeve but I really do like you." Her voice cracks a bit, and I just stare at her. Once she realizes that I'm not going to comfort her she tries to wipe the tears that haven't fallen.

I kiss my teeth, and stuff my hands into my pockets. "There's plenty of other guys you can—"

"But I want you." She points at my chest, poking me a little hard. Her chest heaves up and down, while her cheeks are red. I bite my lip to keep from saying anything. "Wh-why don't you want me?" I don't say a word. "It's Miya, isn't it? She's back?" She takes a sharp breath and runs her fingers through her hair.

I look around, observing her front door. I'm not going to answer her, it's too frustrating. Dealing with feelings, it's just to difficult and very much stressful.

"I don't get it... Even now, you still like her more than me? Even after everything you told me—"

"Okay cool out, I didn't even tell you a whole bunch of shit. I was—"

"Why don't you just admit that you have feelings for me?!" She shouts. "You're just so damn fake! Just admit it Chris, you care for me!" She looks up at me, before grabbing my jaw so I could look her dead in her eyes. "Just admit it!"

I snatch away from her, thinking she lost her mind. "I don't know, okay? I don't know what the fuck this shit is between me and you. But whatever it is that we do have... it's over. I'm sorry." I say in one breath. She stares up at me for awhile as one tear cascades down her cheek. I stare back at her, not knowing what to do.