Study Buddy: A Chris & Miya Story

Chapter 41

Chris

In between the break of our intense make out session from minutes ago, I just stared at her all the while. I couldn't help but notice the vulnerability in her eyes. I stared and stared trying to read the signs, figure them out... But is she okay though? I pushed her hair out of her face, to see her eyes locking with mine. Seconds later she faced the ceiling.

"Chris..." She whispered. I hummed, sitting up to take off my shirt. "What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know baby, are you good?" I asked, scooting closer to her.

She nodded. "I don't know actually, but right now..." Her eyes seemed glossy. "It's just at times, I feel alone." She mumbled low, but I heard her clearly.

"Baby..."

"It's-I can't explain. I'm with you, right here and when you're holding me I feel good. But in my mind, I feel... Alone." She says. "It's stupid, I'm stupid."

"You want me to hold you, I can hold you baby." I say, inching closer to her. She sits up and leans against my chest as I lean on the headboard. "Tell me what's wrong?"

She sighs. "It's... Remember when, the first night we had our late night phone call?"

"Oh yeah, I remember." I chuckled. "You hung up on Kevin and everything. And then we was telling each other stories and stuff..." I trailed off waiting for her to continue.

"Yeah." She laughs, her cute laugh makes my body hot all over. "Do you remember when I told you about like..." She paused. "I was depressed and just angry?"

I quickly thought back to that night and her story came to mind. I hummed.

"It hasn't gone away." She mumbled.

"Baby, things like that just don't go away." I coo. "You just gotta' learn how to control it-"

"Great. Now you sound like my therapist. That's not what I want to here." She says.

Therapist?

"What do you want to hear then?" I ask in the nicest way possible.

"Nothing. I just want you hold me." She says softly. "I just want you to hold me forever, and I don't want this to end." She holds onto me tighter as I feel a drop of warm water on my arm. I look down to see her wipe her cheek.

"Aww, Miya bear?" I tilt my head down and look at her watery eyes. "Don't cry... "

She groans out of frustration and moves away from me. She gets off the bed and looks at herself in the mirror.

"I don't know what's wrong with me Chris, I hate that I have to go to therapy. I hate that I'm always overthinking..." She puts her hands on her head and faces me. "I don't... You don't think I'm crazy, right?" She asks, looking me dead in my eyes.

"Where is this coming from?" I breath in, and look at her. She has a lot of explaining to do, because I'm becoming confused. "Can you lay with me, and tell me what's going on, for real?" I licked my lips quickly as I watch her eyes linger everywhere.

She takes awhile but nods in agreement. She climbs back in bed with me and snuggles right under my arm. "I have chronic anger." She says. "It's-I can't remember exactly when, but I know why. And I think you can piece the pieces together..."