alaska • harry styles

Chapter 21

I waited there for another fifteen minutes until Luke came and sat next to me, eyeing me from the side but not saying a word. He looked tired like me and he seemed sad, according to the lack of brightness in his oceanic blue eyes that usually shined so bright. I didn't exactly know why he was sad. It was a huge understandment to say he was very sensitive and easily hurt; he was a wallflower. He noticed things that seemed invisible to others, but he kept quiet about them and he understood.

He was so special, yet too hurt to see it.

Sometimes I wondered why I worried so much about others feelings. I guess I just worried a lot in general.

I wished I could stop wondering for once, but how do you kill your mind without killing yourself?

And how do you stop feeling lonely when all you want to be is alone?

I took a deep breath and pushed my hands deeper in my pockets to keep them from freezing. I looked down at my lap for a while until my eyes wandered over to Luke who had been staring at me throughout the whole time.

"I'm n-not going to ask you if you're o-okay. It's obvious that you're not. Do you wanna t-talk about it though?" he asked, choosing his words wisely.

"I don't even know anymore" I said and kicked my boots through the snow, "I just wanna leave."

"Okay then" he said and went back inside after telling me to wait.

When he came back, Harry and Mr Harmon were following him, all of them wearing the same apologetic look on their faces.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Mr Harmon to thank him and say goodbye. He hugged me to my surprise which I didn't expect since I had been nothing but rude towards him.

"It was lovely meeting you! Thank you for visiting, this place gets quite lonely at times" he said.

"Thank you for letting us visit!" Harry spoke up, putting his gloves back on.

I was glad and kind of surprised that Harry was so polite and did all the talking because it was obvious that neither Luke nor I would do it.

We said our goodbyes again and left the place, heading right back to the busses since we didn't have any time left.

*

That night there was a thunderstorm and I curled up in the hotel bed. I had never been scared of them, yet didn't necessarily like them, but tonight it bothered me.

The lightning blinded me through the curtains and the thunder that pulsed through my veins wouldn't let me find any peace.

It was already past midnight and I had already tried several things like listening to music or reading a book, but I couldn't get my mind off the storm. Once again, I wished he was here. I felt so lonely, knowing I had no one I could go to.

After another thunder boomed and that rattled the windows, I jumped out of my bed and left the room quietly. I knew that if I woke anyone up they wouldn't hesitate to tell one of our teachers.

I awkwardly stood in the hall for a few minutes with my back against the door and tried to calm myself down.

It was dark apart from the lightning that I saw through the window on the end of the hall. The thunder and my breathing were the only things breaking the terrifying silence and that was when I realised how lonely I really am.

I was staring at the redish wall when I suddenly saw someone coming in my direction.

"Ally- I mean, Alaska" I heard Harry's voice over the sound of another thunder booming.