The Oblivion

the abyss

THE WORLD WAS just a pitch blank image, the sound of moaning and crying further in the distance. Pain seared through my thoughts and haunted me in my dreams. I was lost for the next days in the holes of endless, vacant darkness and never-ending voices calling out to me, wanting cease fires and war, war, war. I forgot everything, avoided the thin line of the world of real and unreal. My shoulder— what happened to it? Did it get ripped right off? Did my bone dislocate? Was it broken? What happened?

I felt as if I lost my mind along with my collarbone. I was blacked out, unconscious and in dreadful stings and heavy thoughts. Every time I thought that I woke up, I would see the brown corners of the cave walls, then the black edges would take over my vision and control the rest of me again.

I kept wailing out in my sleep, moaning for help. I wanted to wake up but that seemed beyond impossible at the moment. I kept hallucinating myself lying lifelessly beyond heavenly help in a pool of my own sticky blood. Sometimes I drifted awake then knocked out again, but even when I was awake a black-red color of blood clouded my vision. My eyelids felt heavier than ever and raising my arm was not an option. I kept on choking on my own emotional tears, running through my nightmares in helpless trauma and never getting a reply or hint of help. I kept on drowning trying to reach the surface of my dreams, but I never actually make it.

At that point I truly believed that I was dead, and somewhere, I was hovering helplessly in a grave in my real self. My throat endlessly felt broken and cracked, my muscles unbelievably sore; I always forgot how to actually wake up. My lungs were screaming for air, my eyes begged for light, and my bones shrieked to be moved. Where was my nerves and brain, controlling all of my organs? Did I damage it? The fear made me woozy with terror, and I felt paralyzed once again.

Those were the dull, damp days where nightmares could take over my life.

"Cimber."

It was Ariana pleading voice that woke me up after a few days. It was accompanied by a series of vexed whines coming from Arch and paws pattering desperately on the floor. I wasn't welcome to the sudden brightness and break through of the darkness. Her face swam into focus, and it seemed to circulate in circles, her eyes, nose and mouth out of place. I realized the pain was driving me crazy. Suddenly a pang shot through my left collarbone and I didn't have the energy to cry out in pain. Instead, I let out an animal, gurgling sound and allowed a tear to leak out from my eyelid.

Ariana choked with emotion and dried my tear away with her finger. Finally, the features of her face became clearer. "Don't. I feel bad already. You saved me, didn't you?"

I tried to summon words to come from my chest, but the more I tried to speak, the more pain that would twist in my shoulder. The words died in my throat. I felt the veins colliding in my collarbone, smashing each other and sending throbbing sensations into my body.

"What happened?" I pushed out, the words dripping out at last. I didn't recognize my own tone, my own muted voice that seemed to have come from someone else, someone unknown.

"Some idiotic NG man shot you when you blocked his way. He was aiming for me instead. Remember?" Ariana said softly.

I nodded, wriggling my jaw gingerly, testing out all my muscles to make sure I was still in one piece. I hadn't even realized that Brian and Brook were sitting on the sides. I was on everyones blankets piled onto of each other to provide more comfort. They all seemed to have slept on the floor to give me some more soothing dreams, but it made me feel terrible that I would be much better off on the floor. I stretched out the tips of the fingers on my right hand to try and release the stiffness and soreness from my body. Warmth radiated within me and my body became alive again. Gently, I ran a hand over my injured shoulder, ever so cautiously. My fingertips felt a heap of bandages, white and fresh, wrapped neatly around the gunshot.