The Oblivion

the wound

I HAD AWAKEN, gasping in a pool of sweat.

I choked and put my hands to my cheeks, which were damp and wet with tears from my sleep. It felt so hot, so hot that I snapped out of my bed and felt myself violently struggle against the bed covers. They seemed to tangle and strangle around me, as if they were deliberately trying to choke me. My hair was stuck with sweat against my neck along my back, and the air condition seemed to have stopped working. I kept kicking the cover in agitation until I thumped out of the bed, landing on the floor in a heap of daze. Finally, I pulled myself up and ripped the cover free from my body, inhaling deep breaths. My shoulder was on fire, stinging me rapidly. I staggered over to the small counter that had wrapped up food, but I was looking for water. I found a bottle and shakily poured myself a glass, but the water spilled out of the glass and landed down the floor and trickled down my trousers. My teeth clinked uncomfortably against the glass when I tried to drink, but I couldn't swallow. When I did I felt like my throat was a dam, and the cold water broke through and spilled the parched ground. I ran blindly into the bathroom without turning on the lights and scrabbled for the tap. Once I twisted it I heard the water dribbling onto the sink and splashed it all onto my face. The cold ran across my sweaty face and splattered across my hair but I didn't care. I felt bile rise up my throat but I swallowed it back down. I let my elbows rest in the sink, and allowed the water to cool my arms as I put my head on my hands, wanting to die. I breathed a least a thousand times until I had the spirit to switch off the tap and calm myself in the darkness. I felt my bottom lip quiver in apprehension and my hands refused to stop shaking.

What kind of evil dream could condemn me like this? How could The Oblivion be so wicked, so heartless to give me such horrors just to break through the barriers?

I allowed my pants to turn into gasps when I heard the sound of the bullet being released from the gun. I felt the pressure of the trigger on my finger again, and the screams of denial squeezing my head. I just obliterated everyone I knew in my wake. The faces of everyone who died in this short period of time blinded me, and the confidence I had that day alone at night turned into nothing but dust.

I heard the soft patter of feet coming towards me. I tried to force myself to stop trembling and look normal but it seemed impossible. The light switched open, and the blinding light made me screw my eyes shut.

"Cimber? Whats up?"I heard Ariana's voice as if it was the most casual thing to do, in the middle of the night in the bathroom.

I didn't have the energy to respond, and suddenly all the water on my clothes and face froze me. It was so cold, and I just wrapped my hands around my waist to maintain heat. Ariana took hold of my hands and warmed them up, so I opened my eyes. Her green eyes looked concerned, and for a moment I felt bad for her to see me like this and waste time worrying.

"Bad dream," I managed to say when I found my voice and at least it was the truth. No, it wasn't. I had the worst, horrible, excruciating, unimaginable nightmare ever. I let myself calm down between the depths of my sisters familiar eyes and tried to embed myself into normality again.

"Yeah, I get those," Ariana said, suddenly looking distant in thoughts. She had another look at my wet clothes and red face, and I felt the sadness fill the room. Knots raveled in my stomach, and I felt like vomiting again. I heard the gunshot ripple in my ears again, then flinched rapidly, in a stupor of turmoil once more. Ariana clutched my arms to calm me, to steady me from falling, falling into a pit of endless perturbation.

I felt like marching to the NG for once and for all. I knew it was a dream, but I didn't want anyone else to die for me. But who knew what plans Steve had for me?

And what if everything said was a lie?

I would be surely doomed, despite the fact that I already am doomed.