unexpected - b.w.s

44. Sunrise talking

I woke up by the sound of my phone buzzing. I looked at my watch - 03:27 in the morning. Who would even call at this time.

I answered, not even looking at who it was from, since it was hard to look at it because of the lightning of it.

"Hello?"

"Mags? Hey it's... It's me." He said, I could clearly hear it was Bradley. His voice was just a bit more raspy than usual.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Well I was just sleeping." I said, almost whispering so I didn't wake up my mother.

"Wha-what time is it?" His voice were even more husky now.

"03:27." I say, glancing at my clock a second time.

"Are you tired?" He asked sounding a bit sleeping himself actually.

"Not anymore." I stiffle a little laugh.

"Can you come to the little lake by the station? You know where I mean?"

"Er, I guess. Now?" I asked. It was weird he wanted to meet now, but it was even more wierd I said yes. I didn't know if I was still mad at him. But somehow I felt it was kind of important since he called this time of night.

"Yeah, as soon as possible." He sighed.

I hung up on him, already getting out of my bed, quickly changing into normal jeans, since I figured it was too cold with just shorts.

I silently walked out of the door, walking down the stairs in the apartment. Many thought were going through my mind, when I started walking down the street. What was Bradley doing? Why was he calling me? Did something happen? Why did he want me to meet him?

Soon I arrived at the lake. I saw him sitting at a bench, smoking of course.

"Hi." I said, almost whispered. He turned his head toward me. He held an emotionless expression on his face. He looked tired.

"Hey, Magster." He smiled a forced smiled, which mostly looked like it hurt. He looked like he was in pain.

"Are you okay?" I said quietly sitting down besides him.

His eyes met mine, taking a deep breath. "I don't think so." Then he just stared out to the lake.

Okay, then.

"Is there something I can do?" I asked, maybe that was the reason why he called me.

He chuckled shaking his head. "No. No I'm fine, don't worry." He smiled, but as soon as he saw me, his smile faded a bit. He seemed so sad, so despairing.

"Why is it everytime I see you, your wounds get replaced with new ones?" I said.

He stared at me, not answering. He took his cigarette between his lips, inhaling it. My eyes were searching his face for some kind of reaction. "I'm fine, Maggie."

I brought my hand up to his face, tugging some of his short curls behind his ear, where a bruise appeared. "You don't look fine."

He looked down at me. "Then stop looking." The corners of his mouth curled up a bit.

I looked down on the smoke coming from his cigarette, he held between this indexfinger and middlefinger. Then I noticed on the other hand, his knuckles was totally wounded. I didn't wanna ask him what happened.

"Hit a wall." He said, figuring what I wanted to ask. He said it like it was usual to hit a wall. He brought the cigarette, from the other hand, up to his mouth yet again.

"Why?" I whispered. He turned his head against mine, eyes flicked between both of mine.

"I don't know, I was mad." He said, while the smoke was blowing out of his mouth.

I watched the smoke, turn out to spirals , making beautiful patterns in the sky. Soon the disappeared, but I still stared out. I was tired, and when I thought about it, I had no idea why I was here. Why I said yes. He said that he wanted to forget all about me. But still he wanted me here.

"Why did you call me here?"

He sighed before answering.
"I needed someone here, before I comepletely lost my shit. Feel like I've already did, and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I just really fucking hate my life, it fucking scares me." He chrunched his cigarette down in the bench beside him.

I didn't know what to say. He didn't either we just stayed in silence, looking out on the lake. It was like everything between us was so intense now. Like we didn't really care, even though inside we did, we just didn't show it to eachother.

"You scare me." He said silent.

"Why?" I looked at him, but he refused to look at me, instead he still stared out the lake.

"I tell you all the things I'm afraid to tell myself. It's like you're a fucking drug. I wanna forget about you but I can't. You're addictive. When I first see you, I can't stop thinking about you. You're basically everything that is on my mind. You're everything I can't control. I tell myself, don't get attached, don't let her destroy you, don't let her be your only thought. But I can't. I can't because you're too fucking addictive."

He threw his cigarette out in the lake, while I still didn't say a word.

It was wierd hearing him talk about his feelings like that. They way he told me that he missed me. I missed him too. I felt like he was the only one to get me in a better mood whenever I was feeling down. On the other side, he was also sometimes the reason why.

"Sorry, I told you all of that." He said softly.

"It's okay." I smile a little smile. He looked at me again, but this time it felt like he comepletely stared. His eyes were intense, and it looked like he was figuring something out.

"You look tired." He let out a soft chuckle. I noticed the sun was already starting to come up, the sky creating a beautiful color.

"You can just go home and sleep, if you want to."

I shaked my head. "I'm too tired to go home."

He knitted his eyebrows together, frowning. He opened up his mouth, like he was gonna say something, but decited against it. Then he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, for calling you this late. Mostly sorry about everything, Mags. You don't deserve to be treated like this."