unexpected - b.w.s

49. Unknown ecstasy

I woke up by the sound of a phone beeping. I notice as soon as I open up my eyes, I realise that I was laying with my face, facing Bradley bare chest. My head felt wierd. It was thumping, but it wasn't an ordinary headache.

"Sorry, just go back to sleep." I heard him mumble.

"I can't." I said into his chest. He moved his hand up to my hair caressing it lightly. "Mkay." He answered, still with a very sleppy voice.

My eyes closed slowly, when he did. It felt nice. It was calming. But still I couldn't help but having a voice in the back of my head saying this wasn't a good idea. I had promised myself that I wouldn't go back to him, but still here I am laying in a bed with him.

"Mags, do you remember taking drugs?" He asked all of a sudden.

I shake my head. "No," We kept on laying there, not saying a word for five minutes.

"Do you remember anything from last night." He asked, and I think he meant at the club. My memory was blurry, it was like a part of it was missing. I did remember some of it though. The memories that stands clear was when Bradley was there, the club was still hard to remember.

"Yeah, uh... I remember I was really happy at at some point. I can't remember why, but it was right after I talked to this guy, but I don't remember anything after. Then you were there." I said.

"Did he gave you anything?" I tried to think back to last night, but it was hard since my mind were somewhere else. Everytime I was with him, it was hard to think about anything else than him.

"Mags, hey look at me." He said, almost sounding worried. I moved my head to look at him. "Did he?"

"I don't know." I sat up, starting to get worried to, and then it hit me. "He uh... He gave me a little blue pastille with a smiley face on."

It couldn't be real. I would never take thing like that from a stranger. At least not sober me. I was drunk that's why. At least that's what I say to myself.

"Did I?" I asked, trying to sense the look on his face. "Was it drugs?"

He bit his lip looking at me. "Yeah." He breathed out and sat up too. My stomach hurt, it felt like someone just kicked me. I choked down my tears.

"Everything begins to vibrate. Things that aren't suppose to move, moves, my head was spinning around. I-is that how you feel when you're high?" I couldn't hold it much longer, when a tear slipped down.

"Sometimes it is." He almost whispered. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. How could I do that to myself. I promised I wouldn't.

He pulled me into him, and I let out a sob. The lump in my throat was hurting. "Shh, it's okay." He tried to calm me down, but it didn't work.

"Don't... Don't worry, it's over now. Nothing's gonna happen, babe."

"My mom... she's gonna-" I panicked. She didn't think I would do this, and she would be disapointed. I am too.

"Your mom isn't gonna know." He brushed my hair. I kept on sobbing into his chest. I felt secure in his arms, like everything around me didn't care. I felt warm tears on my cheeks and on Bradley's chest. He didn't mind though.

"It'll be our secret." I could feel he kissed me on top of my hair. I missed this feeling, the feeling of he just caring about me. Being there for me, understanding me. He was the only one who did that. It was still weird to think about what happened between us.

Our relationship was weird. It went up and then down all the time. We couldn't get it to stay one place. Like one straight line. I was tired of it.

I wasn't crying anymore, my tears were dried out. We were just sitting there in the same position.

I nuzzled my head into him, having a feeling in the pit of my stomach that our line wasn't gonna end like this. It was like we both just wanted to forget about it, deep down I know I couldn't.

"You still talking to him? Kyle?" He said emotionless.

I nodded. Why did he always have to bring him up? What was his problem with him? Either Kyle had done anything do Bradley - which I doubt - or the other way around. It was probably just Brad's annoying self that has something against him, without any specific reason.

"You know you shouldn't, I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why?" I asked him. I needed a reason if I should. Not that I would do what he said, I just wanted him to explain to me what he meant.

"Tell me why." I looked at him, moving my body away. His eyes stared at me for a couple of seconds before answering. "I can't tell you." He said blankly.

"What do you mean you can't-"

"Fuck, Maggie! I just can't tell you." He closed his eyes, trying to control himself from the anger building up inside him.

This always happened with him. The sudden change of emotion. There was always something to ruin it.

"Sorry, I'm... Sorry." He mumbled.

Even though he apologised, I was still a bit mad. Not just for that, but for everything. I really needed to be better at staying away from him.

I shaked my head "It doesn't matter." I muttered before walking out the door.