unexpected - b.w.s

62. Indifferent

Short recaps of what happened last night intruded my brain, as I slowly woke up. But I still didn't know ecxactly what did happen. I looked to my side only to see the guy from the recaps. Tyler I think his name was, but why I was laying in a bed with him, still was to the unknown.

I wanted to get out from this bed, but as I removed the duvet, I realised that I only was in my underwear. I felt sick, like I was about to throw up. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I shouldn't have talked further on with him. I started to believe something happened, but the fact that I didn't know, drove me crazy.

My head didn't think clearly. I quickly gaze at him, as he turned in his bed, but he didn't wake up. My clothes were laying messy on the floor.  Sunlight peeked through the window, as my shaky hand reached it. Tears were filling my eyes, but I wasn't crying. I couldn't breathe out proberbly.

I walked out of the door, only wanting to get away fast. Still getting my shirt proberbly on, with the jacket in the other hand, I almost jogged away.

-

The next morning I felt just as bad. Not the sickening feeling, but I didn't feel like going to school. I didn't even feel like doing anything today, I just wanted to lay in my bed.

The bell rang for the last lesson of the day. I quickly gathered my things together, walking out of the classroom. I didn't see Bradley in the class I had with him earlier today, but that was maybe because I didn't pay attention to anyone. I wanted to avoid any kind of contact with people. Somehow I thought they knew if something did happen.

"Hello," I heard a whisper in my ear. Bradley walked in front of me with a grin on his lips.

Somehow I felt guilty. What if something really happened between me and that guy? Not that me and Brad was a couple anyway, and I didn't exactly cheat on him, but I felt sorry. I was scared to look him in the eye, I was scared to talk to him.

"What?" He asked after a period of silence. His grin disappeared, but somehow he still looked happy. Something about his eyes, med his genuinly look happy. Expression full of joy, even though he didn't smile.

I couldn't bare looking at him, without the thought about me doing something wrong. "I need to go." I mumbled unclearly.

"Maggie, what's wrong?" He grabbed my arm, but I tried to let go. He just pulled me into him, almost forcing me to look him in his eyes. His expression wasn't happy anymore, but it wasn't mad either. He looked softly at me, only trying to help me. I knew that, but I didn't want it.

"Please just let me go." I said slowly. He furrowed his eyebrows, as I tried to ignore his gaze.

"Talk to me." He stared. I looked up at him, feeling as terrible as ever. I felt like crying yet again, and I just wished it didn't happen, or the fact that I didn't know whether or not something happened drove me crazy.

"I told you I needed some time alone to think, what don't you get?" I almost shouted at him, almost with teary eyes.

At first he looked at me for a couple of seconds, with a surprised look. "Time to think about what?"

He still held my arms secured into him. "I just need some time alone." I said, but he kept on staring at me. I wasn't good at lying, that fact came from him. He knew as well something was wrong.

I looked down releasing my arms, as he let go. I quickly glanced up at him, he placed his hand softly on my cheek, brushing it with his thumb. His lips parted, like he was going to say something, but I turned around, walking away from him.

"Mags," He said, but it didn't make me turn around. I was tired always feeling like this. Feeling tears in my eyes, and a lump in my throat.

"Why can't you just fucking tell me what's wrong?" He called after me. He sounded angry, but he had no reason to. He could've been indifferent, but of course he wasn't.