Finding Me Through You

Plans and Unexpected Visits

"Bes, I was thinking—" I didn't even finish my sentence when she interrupted me.

"That you would finally agree to be Mr. Grumpy's girlfriend?" She stated more than asked ecstatically.

"Yeah, Kath. How long are you going to let Kuya suffer?" Miles joked.

I rolled my eyes at them.

It has been a month of courting. To be honest, he's consistent. Not once have I heard him complain about anything I've asked of him to do. No matter how ridiculous it was or will be, he was all for what made me happy.

It warms my heart knowing he'll do what he can just to have my happiness in return.

It's taking me a while to adjust. I'm used to him snubbing me, being rude to me and all his smartass remarks. I mean, he does all those to me still but not as often as he used to.

Not a day passes where he and I don't see each other, so maybe it is time to finally agree to be his girlfriend.

I'm just afraid. Afraid that history will once again repeat itself. It has happened twice, what are odds of it happening again. I can't risk it.

He's proved himself to me but the thing is, I haven't proved myself to my own self. I have trust issues.

I'm still afraid of the inevitable heart break that's bound to happen later on. I don't want to feel and go through that mental block stage again! That's one of the reasons why I haven't said yes to him yet.

Am I emotionally stable to start again?

"I know what you're thinking Bes." Juls snapped me out of my thought.

I gave her a confused look.

"You're asking yourself if you're ready to love again." She knows me so well.

"I'm not one to talk because I have never felt what you've felt, I've also never gone through what you've gone through. To be as young as we are, you've gone through so much when it comes to dealing with all of this love shit." She shrugged her shoulders.

"You're strong though, both physically and mentally. Heartbreak is inevitable, that's a fact. Or at least getting hurt is inevitable. No matter how hurt you are it's what we need to become stronger, you're a perfect example." She continued.

"All I'm trying to say is, might as well make the good stuff last until the bad stuff comes. In time, you'll learn that love is something you don't overthink. It's something you just live in the moment." Juls closed her eyes.

"Love is something you overthink due to all the feelings toward that specific someone. We want what's best for us." Miles said.

"Overthinking kills, just remember that. You make up answers in you head to questions that may never need an answer to. You create irrelevant conflicts, all because of your delusional thoughts. Just live through the moment. So what if you get hurt?" Juls strummed her guitar.

"It's better to get hurt knowing you tried your best all the while having fun than getting hurt and end up regretting you didn't do what you wanted to do." She suddenly stopped strumming and closed her eyes.

Miles and I looked at Julia as she strummed her guitar.

After realizing we were staring, she spoke.

"What?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" I asked shockingly.