Finding Me Through You

To nowhere

Ever since DJ told me the tale of Dindin, it's been really peculiar.

He's been very distant. I mean, maybe I shouldn't have brought her up because it reminded him of the incident all over again.

It's been a week since we've seen each other.

I've given up reaching out to him after four days of trying to whoo him.

Every single day after he told me the story, I would send him good morning text and asking how he's doing and he just leaves me on read. Sometimes he'd reply but they're mostly forced answers.

I'm currently walking near the shoreline of the beach. It's just about sunset and the breeze compliments the warm departure of the sun.

I sat on the balmy sand and stared at the glowing star about to say its goodbye and I closed my eyes.

All my life I was taught that things come and go and that you shouldn't hold onto things because it would only make it worse when it actually leaves.

I guess that was my mother teaching me due to past experience of my father.

Then the thought of Dindin came about and how different DJ is now a days.

Then I correlated that with Jay.

Sure he's not dead, at least I don't think. Hopefully not.

We've never had a decent break up, sometimes I feel like I'm cheating on Jay with Mr. Grumpy because of how unorganized everything in my life is.

The universe hates me, I'd like to think, because all of these people came into mind and I didn't even mean for it to happen.

My eyes still closed, I felt a familiar smell crash up on the beach right next to me.

Before I could even open my eyes, it spoke.

"Why the deep sentimental thoughts?"

His voice sent shivers down my spine. Funny, he sounds just like Jay.

"Hey, kathybaby. I'm talking to you." My eyes flew wide open after hearing that laugh. It couldn't have been Jay!! He's back!!

I turned quickly with a smile. It was DJ.

My smile faded, but came again.

He had a confused look that stirred mostly on his eyebrows.

"Are you upset that it was me?" He asked.

"No no, I just thought you were someone else."

"Oh. So you were hoping for someone else. Someone else was on your mind." His voice was ever so calm it soothed me. It made me relax.

"To be honest with you, I did have someone else in mind but I'm glad that it was you instead of him."

"Oh. So it's a him?" He grew irritated.

"Jay."

He froze.

"You're thinking of your ex?" He asked.

I giggled. I also pinched his cheeks.

"Yes I was thinking of Jay, but not for that reason."

He closed his eyes and sighed, "god, I can never stay mad at you. Why is that?"

"Because you love me."

I froze, did I really just say that. Kathryn, you're so stupid! I'm so embarrassed.

I felt him tense up as well so I quickly turned to the calm sea instead hoping he'll just forget what I said.

"Uhh, disregard my remark. It was stupid. I shouldn't have said it." I played it off with an laugh but instead it came out as an awkward giggle.