4.3 You okay?

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~ Seth ~


If I'm being very honest, I'm rather conflicted about going out tonight. It's not that I don't want to. I always want to go out. It's a lot more fun than staying at home, especially if you're alone, because there's absolutely nothing to do. I'm just so god-awfully tired. I don't even know why. I can only think it must be because I haven't been going to bed on time lately, but that doesn't make much sense, because I go to bed too late all the time and I usually never get tired.

I'll just sleep as much as possible in the weekend to catch up on what I apparently missed and make sure I'm well-rested again next week. I don't want to be missing any classes, but I don't want to be missing any fun, either.

It's always fun to go out with my friends. It's always been. Ever since we met. From the young age that we became friends— the four of us—we've always been making the best of it.

Elija, Gray and I were in the same class together before Mikael came, but we didn't really do anything. We were friends, sure. We sat together in the class room, we played together in recess, we even went to each other's houses, but for some reason it was like our group was destined to consist of four persons instead of three. It wasn't like Mikael was the one who pulled us out of our shells—no, it was, in fact, the other way around. He didn't speak English, like at all. He knew a total of four words. I remember them perfectly. They were 'hello', 'yes', 'no' and 'shit'. He loved saying it. Four-year-old Mikael, muttering 'shit' constantly, even if he didn't really know what it meant, was so hilarious to us that we happily joined him in this activity and we soon had our teacher telling us off, ruining the fun.

Mikael soon learned English—it wasn't hard for him at such a young age—but he still kept returning to Swedish when he was nervous or angry. I'm guessing he has called us some pretty nasty names without us knowing because we had no idea what he was saying. In the beginning, when we got to know him, we begged him to teach us some words, but he never wanted to. Later on, we forgot all about it, apart from Elija, who learned some words for fun.

It was obvious that Elija and Mikael were always the closest of all of us, but Gray and I never felt excluded. It was just how our friendship worked. When Mikky needed someone he would always call Eli first, and he'd call me or Gray after. Similarly, when Eli needed help it was always Mikky he turned to.

That's how we ended up with this division between us four, and for the apartments, as well. Gray and I were naturally forced to grow closer because of Mikky and Elija being close. I'm not jealous about it, or anything like that. I never even realized it had happened until we were already in high school. I was an only child and this meant I got bored very easily, but Gray was always available to come keep me company.

Simultaneously, Elija automatically reached out to Mikael when he was going through a rough patch. We never got to hear the real story—not even Mikael. All we know is that something was going on with Elija's father. A father we've all never met. I can perfectly imagine what he looks like. Elija hardly looks like his mother. The dark hair, the strong jaw, the easily-toned body—those must have come from his father. The dark blue-green eyes are about the only things that are clearly his mother's.

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