WHO I AM

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December 1, 2024
Thursday 4:39 PM
Office of Dr. David Markus.

Ben sits on the couch in Dr. Markus's office trying not to hate being there, but that is part of the agreement he made with his family when they all agreed to help him when he left for California.  They were all worried with everything going on in his life that he would snap.  Honestly he wondered that himself when he left.  Now he felt at ease with himself for some reason.  Having met with both Amy, and Adrian he confirmed what he realized the day he left Glenn Valley  years before that neither of them loved him, and all the people in his life including Leo used him as  a means to an end.  Amy, Adrian, Ricky, Henry, Alice, all used him as a way to get to Leo's money, and better their own lives.  Having understood this Ben now felt free of any guilt, or attachment he ever had to any of them, even Leo.  He was no longer Ben Boykevich the foolish "Sausage Prince" that Leo wanted him to be.  He was Benjamin Helen, and he was his own man.  But that didn't change the severity of the problems that existed in the life he had now.  Those problems were the reason he now sat here talking to Lauren Treacey's ex-step father.  

Dr. Markus:  So Ben why did you allow Zoe to have her job back?

Ben:  Because she apologized for what she did, and she deserved the chance to prove that she only made a bad choice.  

Dr. Markus:  But, that choice was to start an argument with your ex-wife in your office lobby.

Ben:  It is my father's office (reminding Dr. Markus he was only there temporarily).  The company is not mine, it's my dad's. But I reviewed the tapes, and saw that Adrian was the one who actually started with Zoe first.  Seeing that I cut her some slack, I know how Adrian can provoke the worst in people.

Dr. Markus:  So, you think that Zoe had a right to defend herself to Adrian.

Ben:  No, I think there are some people who know how to push the buttons in you that make you lose control.  Adrian is one of those people.

Dr. Markus:  Do you speak from experience.

Ben:  I was married to her, so yeah I do.

Dr. Markus:  So you blame Adrian for the entire event?

Ben:  No, I didn't say that.  I said that Zoe lost control, but I still hold her accountable for allowing herself to be pulled in.  But, she admitted to that, and considering my past with Adrian I understood what she meant.  That is why I could give her second chance.

Dr.  Markus:  What about Adrian will you give her the same courtesy.

Ben:  I'll tell you what I told my father, Adrian and the other's have run out of chances with me.

Dr. Markus:  Can I ask why?

Ben:  Because fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three times I'm just a fool.  The man I was would have done that, let Adrian and the rest make a fool of him for the rest of his life.  I'm not that man anymore.  I will never let them make a fool of me, even once.

Dr. Markus: Not that man.  Are you really referring to yourself as two different people.  

Ben:  Ben Boykevich was who I used to be.  I know that, I accept that.  But he is not who I am anymore. 

Dr. Markus:  (looks at Ben objectively) Could you explain?

Ben:  Don't worry I don't have schizophrenia or a multiple-personality disorder.  The man I was thought differently than me.  I was young, foolish, in-experienced, too trusting, and had no street smarts.  He saw all of them as his friends because he didn't know any better.  I know better.

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