Line of Time

The Wishing

As the years pasted on Samantha was becoming more and more active in the world that her brother's shared. She watched television with them and played with their old toys. She ignored her dolls and dresses. Her mother hoped that this was all just a phase but when she started to go to school in kindergarten... She was very quiet as she sat in the classroom. But whenever someone called her name for her attention she wouldn't perk up right away. The teacher didn't see a problem with this at the moment and thought that she was just an absent minded child and nothing more. But the recess after lunch was deemed a time for teachers to be concerned. It was the first day and kids were starting to form groups of friends but when Samantha walked up to play with the trucks and action figures that were scattered outside she was greeted by a boy. He looked at her with a frown. 

"Gimme that! Go play with the dolls with the rest of the girls! You'll just mess things up, you don't know what you're doing." Said the boy as more of his friends looked at the scene as it played out. He suspected to send her off crying like any other girl he had met with during the day but Samantha wasn't 'normal' and it wasn't wise to call her a girl in that tone of voice...

"I'm not a girl..." Samantha said through gritted teeth as the boy laughed. 

"Only girls have pigtails like that, only girls wear pink. Go play kitchen or house or something else." Said the boy as he went back to kneeling on the pavement to play with the toys. He didn't see Samantha anger was smoking. Neither did the teachers...

In a swift movement Samantha had jumped on top of the boy and started to punch him in back of the head as she sat on his back. 

"I told you I'm not a girl! I'm a boy! So let me play with an action figure already." She yelled as the boy started to cry and shout for help. A teacher came over and pulled her off of him and got a slap during the struggle.

"Samantha Moors, we do not hit other students." Stated the teacher in a condescending voice. 

"He wasn't letting me play and he called me a girl!" She shouted at her trying to get her to see that being called a girl was enough to be an insult.

"But you are a girl and why wouldn't want to play with the other girls. They have a very nice tea set." Said the teacher trying to change her mind. 

"No." She stated through gritted teeth and uneven blue wire rim glasses.

"Why n--" The teacher started as Samantha ripped her arm out of the teacher's grip. 

"Because I'm not a girl and all their toys suck! Just let me be!" She yelled as she then reached over and picked up a toy and stomped off into the schoolyard far away from the pavement. She stopped at a tree next the fence and ripped out the hair ties her mother had put in and threw them away into the grass. She then did the same with her pink shoes and white socks. She was now debating whether or not to remove her white shirt with blue trim... She decided not to since she already had enough explaining to do when she got home anyways due to the hair and now missing shoes and socks. 

After a while she looked up and saw her brother playing in the field. A game of football had stopped and there were a few kids his age pointing in her direction. James then ran over to her expecting her to be crying or hurt. Instead he found her with dirty knees, bruised knuckles and mad look on her face. He saw the action figure and then met her gaze. 

"They didn't let you play with them, huh?..." James asked as she shock her head from side to side. 

"No. But I beat up a kid." She stated with pride. 

"Why did you do that?..." James asked not surprised. 

"He called me a girl and I'm not a girl!" She told him as James seemed lost for words. 

After a moment of silence he got an idea. 

"Hey why don't you come play with me and my friends, it'll be fun." He said as he pulled her to her feet, not noticing her bare feet as they walked along. 

"Hey guys I'm back." James said as his friends stopped their passes and gathered around them both.

"She's so cute... but what happened to her shoes?" A boy with black curly hair asked as she tried to take a swing as his leg but before she could land a shot James caught her fist.

"I took em off and I'm not a 'she'." Samantha defended as James's friends all looked at each other and then at him. He didn't have an answer either...

"Alright then... if you're not a 'she' then what are you?" Asked a girl with brown hair as she bent down and stepped away from another boy her age. No doubly her 'boyfriend' since they were holding hands earlier. 

"I'm a boy. But no one believes me, they keep calling me a girl and I'm not!" Samantha said as she brother's friends smiled. 

"Alright then, is it okay if we call you Sam, big guy?" Asked the brunette's 'boyfriend' as they watched the happiness on her face while.

"Yeah! That sounds great." She beamed as they then started to play together. Not soon after the bell rung and everyone went back to class.  That night Samantha's teacher called home and told her mother about what happened at lunchtime when Samantha had beaten another student. She was already in trouble about the shoes and hair but now this is what broke the camel's back. Samantha's father spanked her for doing that at school and yelled at her for it too. He and her mother were suck of her outbursts. She was a girl, that was how God made her and that's how she would always be. There was no changing that ever.

With those words in her mind she went up to her room for the night and went to bed. She was now silently praying to God...

"Dear God, why did you make me wrong? Why did you make me a girl, do you hate me?... Was I really that bad that you had to make me a girl... Like when daddy tells me he had no choice in spanking me because I was bad... If I did something please tell me and I'll say I'm sorry. Please... Please God... I don't want to be a girl. It isn't me... It's isn't right. You made me wrong." She whispered into the darkness of her room as she hoped that someone would hear her. 

But there was no answer, but this didn't put her down in her efforts. Every night that fallowed she prayed to God or something... She made wishes on everything she could. 

"First star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might... Have the wish I wish tonight. Dear wishing star... I wish to wake up tomorrow and be a boy, for real this time... I know you're probably really busy with other kids's wishes and all. And I know you are, you've been busy for five weeks now and you haven't had time to hear mine yet... It's okay if you don't grant my wish... I just wanted to let you know that it hasn't changed from yesterday... or the night before... or the night before that... Or the night before that, anyways sorry wishing star... I have to go to bed... Good night."

From wishing on a star to just hoping when the sky at night was to clouded or too dark to see any stars. 

"Please let me wake up as a boy tomorrow... Please... please . . . Please I'll do anything. I'll give up candy for the rest of my life. . . I'll never make another single wish in my life. . . I'll never be bad ever again... please..." She said as tears escaped her blue eyes as she sniffled and hid her face in her pillow. " . . .Please, let me wake up as a boy..." 

But her wishes never came true, it didn't matter how many times she asked or prayed or wished. It didn't matter how many stars or birthday candles or even pennies into wells or fountains... It never came true. She thought that maybe it was because that these things didn't have enough magic to make a wish that big come true... Yeah that must be it. They weren't strong enough, it wasn't that no one cared it was that they weren't strong enough to help make it come true.