Just You Is Enough

It's About Time

I was at my work when I receive a message from Luke that he wanted to see me. I hesitate at first but when he send me another text saying that it is kind of urgent, I didn’t think twice anymore.

Everything between my family and I were not a problem no more, I know sometimes I felt some kind of hurt but not like the first time when it exploded like a fireworks to my face. I think we are still all in a slow but moving on stage in coping.

After parking my car outside the coffee shop, I made my way inside the shop looking for Luke. One of the waitresses told me that Luke is at the back; I thank her and went where Luke is.  

“Hey,” he greeted me and kissed my forehead.

“Hey,” I smiled back at him. As he help me sit in my chair.

“I already ordered you a coffee that you love and a piece of doughnut.” He smiled at me. I love how he knows me too well.

“Thanks,” I said as the waitress came out and gave us our order. Luke thanked her and she left us alone.

We both took a bite of our doughnuts and sip a coffee after.

“So, what is it?” I asked as I wipe my mouth with a table napkin.

“Okay, uh it’s, it’s about us.” He said nervously and I manage a nod for him to continue.

“I need to tell you something and I know that it’s not easy for you especially nowadays, after everything you know…”he added.

“Okay. Go on.” 

“I want to know if you still love me, I want to know everything Sam.” He asked. I can see how eager he wants to know.

“I do, I do so please don’t doubt it. Everything that you saw between me and Ethan that day is nothing. It’s just a closure you know, I told him that friendship is all I can offer him and nothing more than that. I love you Luke and you have to believe me.” I sincerely told him.

Then it hits me,

“Are you, are you falling in love with somebody else now?” I whispery ask.

“There is no one involve Sam, I still love you but I don’t know. I can’t do this Sam, I can’t, and I think I also needed time for everything to think about. I know that you know how I don’t believe on ‘space thing’ or ‘cool off’ but I think I need it now. I need a break. I love you but I don’t know why I feel like I’m here yeah, but just here when you needed me only but you won’t let me in.” he said.

I’m speechless because I know that all that he said hurts me. His last words hit me so hard; “I love you but I don’t know why I feel like I’m here yeah, but just here when you needed me only but you won’t let me in.”  I didn’t know that he’s feeling that way. I am too selfish; while I am facing my problem there he is waiting for me. I didn’t give him a chance to.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ve been too selfish.” I said as the tears falling in my cheeks.

It’s good that we are the only customer here at the back.

“Shh...” he move fast beside me and holds me in his arms.

“You are not selfish baby, it’s just, I don’t know. You have no Idea how hard it is for me too… I don’t even want to lose you but-“he added but stops already.  

This man in front of me is the man who I really love the most. As I look at him, I can see the pain beyond those eyes. I am too selfish and blind not knowing what he really felt. I was blinded by my own problems when I also forget about him. I want to tell him to just stay with me and just hold on, but I know by looking at him that he is already tired, Tired of waiting for me. I don’t blame him because if I were in his position, I’ll be feeling the same too. I know what he is trying to say. He wanted freedom. And I will give it to him.