1. Betty don't look out the window people will think it's Halloween
2. You should have been born in the dark ages you look terrible in the light.
3. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
4. I'd never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
5. They're three ways a man wears his head -parted - unparted or departed.
6. You are so bald, I can see what you thinking.
7. You are so bald that when you wear a turtleneck you look like a roll-on deodorant.
8. Aliens do exist. They are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
9. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
10. My sister fell in love at second sight. When she first met him she didn't know how rich he was.
11. The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
12. All You Need to Know about Explosives by Dinah Mite.
13. If everything seems to be going well, you obviously do not know what the hell is going on.
14. There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
15. The World of Vegetables by Artie Choak.
16. The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
17. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
18. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
19. If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.
20. Horror Stories by R. U. Scared.
