Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?
A: To a re-tail store!
Q: Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
A: In a cat-alogue!
Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow ?
A: Ice Cream
Q: What's a doll's favorite food?
A: Barbie-Q!
Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you're eating a watermelon!
Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?
A: Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!
Q: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
A: It cracks up!
Q: Why did the biscuit cry?
A: Because its mother had been a wafer so long.
Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?
A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!
Q: How do you turn soup into gold?
A: Put 14 carrots in it!
Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
A: Slippers!
Q: How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: When you take careful aim.
Q: Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?
A: One was "a-salted."
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing!
Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.
Q: What looks just like half a loaf of bread?
A: Its other half.
Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch!
Q: What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land?
A: A MEATing of the minds!
Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: Hey, what's eating you?
