1. Medical Science Says: 'Tight clothing slows blood circulation'
But the Truth is..
'The tighter the woman's clothing, the faster the circulation of MAN's blood"
2. I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
3. Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."
4. Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone!
5. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.
6. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
7. I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
8. You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
9. You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
10. I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture.
11. I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
12. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
13. Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.
14. You're the best at all you do -- and all you do is make people hate you.
15. You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.
16. Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?
17. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
18. I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
19. I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.
20. I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
