Girl Gamer meets Mr. Popular

Chapter 11 - Girl Gamer's Resolution

I lean on the wall and I start slipping my body on the floor. I look at the sky and started talking to myself. Well, maybe this is the start of being insensitive huh? When people are being hurt over and over again with the same reason, maybe it's not what they call being stupid but because they never gave up. 

But sometimes, the day will just come that you'll tell yourself, Enough is enough. 

You're really tired of having shitty feelings inside, and you just want to take it all off you. You just want all this heavy feeling off you and start a new but life doesn't work that way and I guess it will never will. You just have to bear with it and knowing that, no one, even a single person will Understand you. 

Because they don't know what it feels like, They don't know how pathetic you are. 

I just want to sit or maybe lie down for the rest of my life doing nothing, because I know someday, someone will replace me. Someday? Heh? I was just replaced a while ago right? 

Really pessimistic huh? well, life always goes that way, it will hurt you before you get your happiness but sometimes, even though you are being hurt again and again, you'll gain NOTHING.  

I spent the whole day on the roof top and 10 minutes before the bell rang, I went straight home. 

When I arrived at the house, my mom asked me if I attended my classes today. 

"No, I didn't." 

"Why? is there something wrong Megumi?" My mom asked.

"None, sorry mom, I'll just go up to my room." 

I quickly went to my room, shut the door and lie down on my bed. 

I stared at the ceiling not knowing what am I going to do this day. If I went somewhere, mom will be worried again. I closed my eyes and small flashback came at me. I remember mom crying at my door when I wasn't attending school for a month. I was unreachable that time. I didn't communicate to anyone not even to my dad. But I'm still lucky they didn't judge me and when I decided to have my normal life back without Kiyoshi, they still accepted me and helped me. 

I let out a sigh and I thought, Maybe I'll just take a long sleep to wear my stress off. 

-Next Morning- 

*Chirp* *Chirp* 

  I heard birds singing and I can hear wings flying away from our window.    I opened and rubbed my eyes. I was still laying down on my bed and staring outside.

"Another day, Another disappointment."   

I sighed, get up from bed and proceed in the bathroom.   

I prepared for school and seriously, I was really lazy and gloomy.  The atmosphere at our house was heavy and my mom is getting annoyed by it.   

"Seriously Meg, will you just stop that."   She placed at plate in front of me as she takes a sip of her coffee.

"Sorry mom."  

My mom sighed and said, "Meg, I don't know what's going on, but everything will be fine 'kay?"    

She held my hand and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I really love my mom, even though I'm like this, she still loves me. Well, at least someone cares for me.   

After I ate my breakfast, I go to school with my usual routine. Head phones on my head, a red scarf around my neck and a PSP on my hand. The feeling of apathy still lingers around my heart. I was surprised I didn't felt lonely but I would be lying if I said I don't miss someone.