Alina's Past Lives.

Rose Marie.

"Jeremy when you get this I want you to find Elena and go straight home okay? And if you see Rose don't approach her." I said to Jeremy's voice mail before hanging up and putting my phone back in my pocket. The school was having another party and unfortunately for me, Damon, and everyone else here Rose seemed to have picked the perfect place to run off to. A crowded place full of shouting teenagers and loud music. No one would hear people screaming out for help. "Take this." Damon said as he walked back over to me after talking to Sheriff Forbes, he thrust the stake in to my hands and I nodded before gripping it tightly and following him. Damon led me in to the car park where we saw Rose ripping into a young woman's throat. Damon blurred up to her while I hung back. "Stop!" He ordered, Rose didn't listen. She didn't even recognize Damon though he did seem to distract her enough. She dropped the woman and then jumped on Damon and tackled him to the ground. In her weakened state he easily overpowered her, though I was standing ready to step in with my magic if Damon need me. "Rose stop! Rose it's me! It's Damon, it's Damon." He whispered to her and it seemed to work. She stopped struggling and her face returned to normal. She looked at the woman on the ground she killed. "Did I do this?" She asked as tears started to flow down her cheeks. "Oh my god, I didn't mean to hurt anyone I never wanted to hurt anyone." She sobbed. "I know." Damon soothed "I know." She then turned and looked up at me "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! If I killed you Klaus would be so angry with me." She panicked. "Come on let's get you home." Damon said softly as he held her up. "No, I haven't got a home; I haven't had a home in so long." She whimpered. "Oh please make it stop, make it stop! I hate it make it stop!" She wailed. Damon carefully picked her up bridal style and I bent down to pick up the stake he'd dropped before we made our way back to the boarding house.

When we got back Rose was asleep and Damon gently placed her on the bed. "You're going to kill her aren't you?" I asked quietly he nodded. "She wanted to go home; she said she used to live in Saylester thirty kilometers from London. She's scared Damon just make it less." I couldn't finish the sentence because tears were streaming down my cheeks and a sob threatened to escape. Damon knew what I meant and nodded. "I'm sorry Lina." Rose said as she came to. "I've never liked to take human life. I never have, especially not you." She whispered as her eyes closed again. "You need to go." Damon said sending me a knowing look. "That's the worst part about it the hunt, the need to kill, the thirst, the pleasure it brings you afterwards. I wasn't meant to be here, it hurts." "Then stop talking about it." Damon snapped "Damon's a lot like me. He wants to care but when he does he runs away from it, he just needs someone who'll care for him back." I lifted my head and met Damon's gaze before averting mine back to rose. "I'm sorry for what I did today." I nodded. "I know." I whispered. "And you need to fight. I know that you're scared but you have to anyway." I nodded my head at her words as I wiped furiously at the tears falling. She started to cough again then so I rushed forward and held her hand. "Hmmm, why are you so nice to me?" "I'm a human either that or I'm a sucker for vampires." I smiled. "Never forget it," She commanded from the bed.

"What it's like to be human." She  clarified. "It haunts me. It's the only thing that's kept me going. It doesn't hurt as much anymore." I smiled at her but then she started to groan before screaming again as she withered in pain "What do I do?" I said to Damon but he moved me out of the way before sitting on the bed and pulling rose in to his lap. "Go." He ordered. "Damon." I said from the doorway. "Just go I've got this." He said sternly.

"You were supposed to leave." Damon stated as he walked down the stairs. I stood up from the chair I had been sitting on and smiled weakly at him. "I did, but then I came back to see if you were okay." I admitted honestly. "I appreciate the gesture but I'm just glad it's over." He replied. "You know I don't believe that." "Go home Alina and get some rest it's a whole new day tomorrow." He said harshly. "Damon I'm your friend," "I'm well aware of that." He said. "And a friend usually knows when their friend is hurting." I stated. "What do you want to hear?" He snapped. "That I cared about Rose and that I'm upset. Well I didn't and I'm not." He lied. "I hated her up until a few days ago and I care and I'm upset. You knew her better than I did so don't lie to me Damon." He shrugged and looked nonchalantly. "See there you go again pretending not to care, pretending to turn it off. Damon you're so close don't give up." I begged. "I feel Alina, I feel and it sucks." He roared. "What sucks even more was it was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me!" He yelled. "You feel guilty." I stated. "That would be human of me wouldn't Alina?" He asked as he stalked closer towards me. "But I'm not human. You're one to talk about giving up all you've done is give up." He accused. "I have a reason to give up." I said softly. "What so you can protect poor little Elena. Well what about you? What about me? What am I supposed to do when you die?" He yelled in my face. "Move on with your life." I said in a soft tone. "But I can't because you're my life." He blurted then he froze as he realized what he'd just said. I tip toed and pressed my lips against his. He hesitated for a second before pushing me backwards in to the wall and slipping his tongue in to my mouth as they battled for dominance.

I tangled my hand in his hair in an attempt to pull him closer to me. His hands slipped from my hips and slid around to my back side so he could lift me up. I complied and wrapped my legs around his waist. But then he pulled back, we were both breathing heavy but he dropped me to the ground and stepped back. "I'm sorry, I can't." He replied broken, tears stung my eyes at the rejected. "Don't say something like that Damon when you clearly don't mean it." I hissed he opened his mouth to say something but I wouldn't let him. "And don't start spouting crap about how it's for my own benefit because it's not! I want you and I'm making it perfectly clear! I want to be with you." He had tears glistening in his eyes and my own tears were running down my cheeks. "I can't. You should just go." The words left his lips and I felt a piece of my heart break. I couldn't even find the words to say anything. I nodded as I walked towards the door but I stopped and turned around to see one of Damon's tears running down his cheek. "Goodnight Damon." "Goodnight Alina." He whispered as I shut the door behind me.

I waited until I was far enough away his vampire ears couldn't hear until I let myself cry. Until I let the pain out. I was barely aware of which direction I was going in because my eyes kept filling with tears no matter how hard I tried to push them away.  And I had to keep wiping them away, I even tripped a few times. But I wouldn't let myself fall. I would allow myself time to feel my pain and then I would put it away and move on. I was glad it took me forever to get home. Trying to put away this type of pain and move on was nearly impossible. I took too deep breaths before I walked in to the house and made sure I looked as though I hadn't just bawled my eyes out but catching my appearance in the car mirror I hadn't succeeded. Elena stood in the hallway an angry look on her face and stormed off upstairs sending me a sympathetic look. "How's Rose?" Stefan asked as he walked out of the kitchen. I just shook my head at him. "What's up with Elena?" "She's angry at me." Stefan answered as he looked down at the ground guiltily. "Did you get through to Isobel?" I asked not really caring about his answer. "Not exactly." A voice that was all too familiar said as he stepped out of the kitchen. "John." I growled. "Hello Alina."