In Vancouver

Chapter 31~Confessions are made

When it's dark enough out that the street lights have been on for hours, Jayson sits up and stands from the couch. He puts out his arms to help me up, and I stumble up after him.

"I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed." I sigh, walking towards the stairs.

"I'm going to go to bed too." Jayson says, following me. His hand grabs into my shoulders as he follows me upstairs and I turn to look at him.

"What?" He asks, wondering why I am stopped.

"I've just missed hanging out with you, but I don't want to see you in this state again." I sigh, fully stopping on the stair above him and turning to look at him.

We are eye to eye and he looks straight at me. I bite my lip, hoping he won't be mad that I'm this outright with him. It is his personal choice to get drunk, I just don't like to see him so out of it.

"Okay." He says looking at me and swallowing hard as his eyes travel down to my lips.

"I mean it." I say, trying to ignore the look he is giving me.

"I know. I won't do it anymore, especially because it scares you." He replies.

I turn away quickly with a small nod, making it to the top of the stairs. I hear him sigh quietly.

"I'm not trying to control your life or make you stop doing things you like. It just freaks me out to see you so weak and not in control. I know I shouldn't worry but I do, especially after all​ the stuff you've been going through with your brother because of me. Please don't think I'm trying to force you to do things I just...." I ramble before I am cut of by Jaysons voice.

"I love you." He says all of the sudden and I feel my heart speed up.

I continue to walk, first wondering if I heard him right, almost hoping I misheard him because it would be easier. But I know I didn't hear him wrong and then I know that I'm not ready for this. I haven't built up my walls just for them to get broken this easily. It's not going to happen.

"That's it? You're not going to say anything? Aubrey, I love you." He says, again, more sure this time. He sounds upset.

I stop, but stay turned away from him.

"Yes that's it. I'm sorry but what do you expect me to say?!" I reply quietly, feeling my heart breaking. I feel horrible for doing this to him.

I walk into my room, and Jayson follows me in. "I don't know, just say something! I'm telling you I love you and you don't even have anything to say?"

I turn to face him slowly and realize that I am wrong to have thought he was joking at all. I now realize his face is completely serious and he's feeling hurt.

"Jayson I'm sorry. I can't talk to you about this right now with us broken up. I'm just not ready. I can't deal with it." I say.

"You don't deal with it. You either love me or you don't." He says.

"I can't answer that Jayson." I sigh, standing outside my door.

"No Aubrey, I won't accept that! I think I deserve an answer. " Jayson says, coming closer, and I move back and sit on my bed.

He bends down, putting his arms on either side of me so he is at the same level as me. I look right at him and feel myself melting away. Here's the guy that bugged me so much, but has always been around, even when we weren't close anymore and even when we stopped dating. He's one of my favorite people, even now, and he's saying he loves me. I should be going crazy right now, right? It should be amazing for me, but I'm scared that this is going to break me. I can't let that happen.

"I can't be around you this much. It's making me rely on you when the only person I should be relying on is myself. You need to go, or I need to leave." I say suddenly.

"Why? Give me one reason why I need to go. Why are you scared to rely on me?" He says quietly.

"Because Jayson..." I start, feeling like I am about to burst. "because I love you too."

My eyes go wide when I realize what I just said. I didn't fully realize it before, but it is one hundred percent true.

"You love me..." he whispers.

"And when I love people I get hurt and then they leave... I make stupid decisions when I love someone." I finish.

Jayson looks at me in a way that makes me want to say that I love him over and over again. 

"You love me? Why wouldn't you tell me that? That's a good thing Aubrey..." He whispers, as he moves closer. He is smiling at me in a way that gives me butterflies.

"No it isn't. It's not good for me. We don't work together. We just break each other and that's scares me." I reply.

"No we don't. We are stubborn and sarcastic, we joke with each other, (sometimes to much), but we also do nice things for each other and we care for each other." Jayson says, moving closer with each word.

"We are perfect for each other Aubrey. Can't you see that? That's what scares me..." He finishes, our faces inches apart.

My worry is slowly leaving me and suddenly he pushes me carefully onto my back on the bed and leans over me. I breath out slowly, completely relaxing and staring straight at him.

"Tell me honestly right now that we don't work together and I'll leave." Jayson says quietly as he brushes hair away from my face.

I feel like my breath is caught in my throat as I look at him and feel his hand on my cheek. His eyes are searching mine, trying to see if I'm going to break him. A second before me, he knows my answer. A small smirk come to his lips. All I can think about is how cute he looks, and how confident he is in my feelings.

I reach up slowly and wrap my arms around his neck tangling my fingers in his hair.

"Jayson I know we work, but just don't know if I'm ready." I sigh looking into his eyes. His wavy hair falls down around his face. It's getting a bit long, just long enough to cover his ears but I'm starting to get used to it, and maybe even like it.

"I promise to go slow this time. I rushed it last time and I know that didn't work for you." He says, pulling me up as I hold onto his neck.

"I don't want to lose you again." I say.

"That's not going to happen. I promise." He whispers, wrapping his arms around my back and I smile.

He's genuine and has never lied to me. He really wants to make this work.

I lean up slowly and peck Jayson on the lips, surprising him.

"Now get off of me you big controlling goon. You pulled all my feelings about you out, and I can barely breath because you are squishing me." I laugh, pushing his to the side so he lands on the bed next to me.

He pulls me back down beside him and brings me closer for a real kiss. I hook my hand around his neck and breath out slowly.

"My friends are going to flip when I tell them."I laugh.

"Tell them what?" Jayson smirks.

"That we are together." I say.

"You're going to tell them?" He asks, looking surprised.

"Yes. That's the biggest mistake I made. Making you feel like I wasn't proud to be with you." I say, tucking his hair behind his ears.

"Really? I thought your biggest mistake was leaving me alone with your friends. They already know I have a giant crush on you." He smiles.

"What?!! Jayson!" I say, pushing him off of me and sitting up.

"Sorry! It slipped out and they already know. They've known for weeks and haven't talked to you about it?" He laughs.

"I guess." I sigh, shaking my head. Tomorrow is going to be interesting.