No girls allowed (Jaeyong)

69. The boy with new skin

Who was it, the boy with new skin, the one lying and inhaling his lover's scent from the pillow his face was pressed to. The heavy rain was somewhere in a dreamy city that existed in another reality. The bedroom was perfectly quiet, Taeyong played with his hair strings yet Jae has never felt so cold and distant from another human being.

Taeil's words - 'The first time is awful' sounded in his head. It wasn't awful, it wasn't perfect either, he has never expected this amount of pain. The silence grew longer and Taeyong's fingertips were on his neck and back.

"Jae are you there?" a gentle kiss on his earlobe and cheek and Jae took a quicker breath.

He decided to stay silent. Maybe they acted too quickly, too harshly, too unprepared.

"I'll go take a shower and make some breakfast, then we need to change the sheets I'm really trying not to think how many germs are in there," Taeyong moved up then covered Jae's back with the sheet before he walked out of the room.

"It's 4 a.m.," muttered the boy.

"I can't sleep," whispered Taeyong then closed the door behind himself.

The time started to become more and more boring and frustrating, when Jae turned in the sheets. He tried to get himself back together but he felt so different, like a new person, one carrying to many regrets. What was love supposed to be? The saving thing, the biggest power in the universe, amazing? He waited till Taeyong left the bathroom then he sat up. The darkness behind the huge glass wall was so strange. Jae touched his face and his hands, it was the same skin but it felt foreign.

He needed a lot of time to get up and find the way to the bathroom. The shower was strange and he took it very quickly, he avoided his mirror reflection when he dressed up in the clothes Taeyong had left for him last night before they...

Jae was still barefoot when he reached the kitchen, the hoodie he was wearing smelled like Taeyong and Jae tried to breath in and out while everything inside him was mixing and twisting.

Taeyong was busy running around the kitchen preparing food. The sky outside became slightly brighter so Jae leaned against the counter and waited.

"Do you want anything special?" asked Taeyong while his head was in the fridge.

"No," muttered Jae.

"I know it was bad, but first times are the worst it will only get better," Taeyong slammed the fridge door shut.

"Thanks, I've heafd this befofe," Jae lowered his head.

"Hey it was my first time with a guy don't blame me if I had no idea what to do, you're also not all tiny and fragile, rather a bear size of a person," Taeyong took some cups out and filled them with tea.

Jae wasn't sure why he's still here, listening to all of this.

"What I wanted to say..." started Taeyong after a longer silence. "Is that I'm sorry, I wanted it to be special, but shit happens," he rubbed his forehead. "The next time will be better I promise," Taeyong came closer and caressed Jae's cheek.

The boy stayed quiet with his head low.

"Stop being mad at me," Taeyong leaned in kissing his lips, he buried his head in Jae's neck causing a lot of tingling in the boy's stomach. "I love you I hope you know that," Taeyong was whispering into his skin while he hugged him tightly.

Jae was stunned that it was Taeyong who need him more this morning, and who was so clingy.

"Please don't leave me," whispered Taeyong and Jae's heart melted, when his arms fell over the boy.