turning him good

30: love at last

"I am not taking you to there," Jason protested as I shoved my 3-year-old Uggs on and grabbed the keys.

"please?" I said which came out more like a question,

"no! I am not taking you to the jackass!" he said throwing his hands in the air,

"Jason... please," I begged this time.

"no,"

"please Jase, I need this," I said feeling my eyes well up all over again which was not a rare thing to me for the past few weeks.

He stared at me for a little bit and eventually rolled his eyes harder and then his whole body shaked annoyed at what he was about to say,
"fine."

I smiled at him and then threw the keys at him before opening the door that was coincidently on the latch so that's how Levi must've gotten in.

"I'm doing this for you... no one else," he said to me as he got into the driver's seat of his newly paid for car.

"you are a great brother you know," I said to him as I got into the passenger seat, "I mean... I know we fight but were siblings, it's what we do."

"you don't have to be soppy," he shuddered,

"thanks anyway," I said settling into my oversized jumper that was really unflattering but I just shoved it on for comfort.

"why do you even want me to take you there," he said after he pulled me out of the driveway.

"I need to speak to him."

"he won't talk..." Jason said taking a left, "he never does."

"he'll talk to me... he always does." I said before looking over to where we were driving down now.

"be careful," he said in a consoling manner,

"you'll be there too... you have to talk to him too you know," I said making him feel awkward,

"can't I just stay in the car? Or watch?" Jason whined like a child,

"fine," I finished just as we pulled into the parking space.

Jason and I walked over through the grassy that was always cut nicely and then over to the tombstone. The blackened tombstone that I rarely ever visited since me and Jason found out that he died.

Our dad.

Our dad died in a car crash about six months after he walked out on us. There was no reason for his drunk driving apart from the fact that he was depressed and suicidal from leaving us apparently. That's what the man who assessed his body said to us.

"dad," I said quietly, "dad I need you, I need advice,"

"he won't talk," Jason muttered to himself,

"I don't care... I just want him to care,"

Jason sighed and stood there with his hands in his jean pockets before settling down and looking at the stone.

"okay... so, I met this guy and I really liked him. This is stupid," I stopped,

"shall I go to the car?" Jason asked me as I stared down at the ground before nodding my head at him,

he walked off to the car and I was on my own to speak to the man who left me, just like Levi practically did.

"okay, I'll start again," I laughed silently,

"dad, I know you did terrible things," I crouched down on the perfectly cut grass, "and I have too but what do I do now? Where can I go from here?"

"it's not as easy as life was for you... you found love then gave it away but I thought I was developing love but that was taken from me, what do I do now? Do I forget it and get on with my life or something else?"

"all I do is try to make mum happy but I think she's broken because of you for all the wrong reasons. I don't want to be broken."

Then I realised it. I realised what I had to do and I was ready to do it.

I slowly stood up before kissing my hand and placing it on the top of the gravestone.

I walked off to Jason's car quickly before hopping in and demanding that we went somewhere new.

"okay, honestly... if you want to go there then you can drive," he said shutting the engine off.

"what am I supposed to do?" I asked as he got out the car and came over to my side,

"drive," he said to me after opening the door and smiling rudely to me.

I got out of the passenger seat and switched with him before hitting the gas and speeding off down the road to get to my next destination.

I was there.

I stepped out of the car, adjusted my hair and tried to look decently presentable for what I was about to do. I walked up the stone pathway to the annex where I could hear the distant beat from what sounded like a famous Phil Collins song but I couldn't put my finger on it properly. I could tell that the beat was being pounded into the drum kit that I saw the last time I was at this heavenly house.

I knocked on the barn like doors before the beat fell silent and the door was opened.

I stood there staring at his gorgeous grey laced with blue flecked eyes and the basic black t shirt he was always rocking. This time, he was out of breath slightly from beating the living daylights out of the drum kit and I could see that this time it was a different one.

"Scar," he breathed,

"Levi." I said smiling at him, "I don't want to be broken,"

"what?"

"I don't want to be like my mum at all... she's broken. I can't be broken just yet."

"what do you mean?"

"my dad... he broke my mum with leaving us and then pretty much killing himself in a car crash and... and-"

"shush, you're not broken," he simply said.

"I'm not?" I asked him as he cupped my check,

"never will be."

I sighed and ran a finger through my ponytail before he let me into the annex.

"what happened to the other drum kit?" I asked as I noticed that this one was predominately black with a white high tom.

"oh," he pointed over to the corner where a drum kit sat with no safe skins.

"yeah... I've been pretty frustrated for a few weeks," he said nervously, "sit," he said edging to the sofa.

I sat down and we talked... just like friends would talk for an hour.

Good job I told Jason to leave.

"did you break up with Kate? I never asked," I said feeling bad,

"yeah. The minute you left the party." He said really quickly,

"that's pretty quick," I said,

"I'm so, so sorry," he said whilst taking my hand and leaning in towards me,

"don't worry at all... it's all fine now," I said taking his hand back.

He leaned in closer and then we kissed. It was the same electrically charged kiss that I had been needing ever since I received the first one,

"is this is?" I asked him happily,

"this is only the start."