Sacrifice [Edward Elric x Reader]

chapter 46

You want to scream, but you can't.

Instead, you stumble to where Ed's bed is and pick up his hand, still warm.

The doctor slowly edges towards the door, muttering, "I'll be right back," and leaves, though you pay him no attention.

You take his shoulders unbelievingly. He can't have just.. died!

You shake them, calling his name. "Ed... Ed! Edward! Answer me! You're... not dead.. right? You.. you can't be..."

He doesn't respond.

You can only stare at Ed, devastated. How could he have... died!? How could he have just let go of his life like that!?

Your heart is beating, fast, the sound of the constant note of the heart monitor drilling into your head. You feel as if there was a big boulder in your chest, and your eyes blur over. You begin to hyperventilate.

You know your having a panic attack, but theres nothing you could do. The boy you cared so much for is now in a hospital bed, dead. Dead!

You let out a sob, and finally, the tears spill over. You had let him die. You give his hand a squeeze.

"Ed.. Edward. I-I didn't get a chance to say it... when you were still alive, but... I really like you. A lot, okay?"

Your eyes blur over again, and you can almost see Ed's lips pull upwards.

No... but he's dead... he'll never come back... I'll never see him smile.. again...

And the tears spill over again.

Ever...

You can feel the cry spreading through your body, numbing everything except the hopeless feeling in your chest, the missing part.

It felt as if everything is gone, and that your world has ended. This boy... he was the one who welcomed you to this new world, where you don't belong.

The place where you belong with him...

You feel more tears well up in your eyes when you imagine what Al would say.

"(Y/N)..."

"It's all your fault!"

"It's your fault he's dead!"

"Why didn't you take him to the hospital sooner!?"

"It's your fault..."

You can't stop the voices. You had let him die. It's all your fault.

You brought the trouble to him, you met him, you caused Al's pain, you hurt Ed.

It's all your fault.

But no. He's not dead. He can't be. If he is... then... then who's going to be there for you? For Al?

Who's going to keep you happy and laughing when you feel like the world's against you?

Who's going to comfort you when you're sad?

Who's gonna love you for who you are?

You scream, but it's silent, your voice box unable to create a sound. You feel something stretch, and pain shoots through your body, but it's nothing compared to what you're feeling in your chest right now.

You squeeze his hand so hard, his hand turns purple, but your careful not to hurt him.

But he's dead, it won't matter. A voice in the back of your head says. You scream again, feeling the pain chase the voice away.

You're shaking so bad, you can't see straight, especially with your puffy eyes and tears.

He can't be gone. You refuse to believe it.

But it's all your fault.

****

It's all my fault.

Q: Why did this take six whole freaking days to write!? It's so short.

A: Hurt me, kill me, it won't matter anymore.

I think I just screwed up so bad.

And this chapter is so horribly short.

I'm so sorry guys I've been dealing with so many feelings lately I'm crying at every small thing and my heart is broken. I've received some hate but that's okay. I'm just losing inspiration so fast my heart is betraying me and I don't even know what to do.

Don't get me wrong guys your support and cheerfulness is everything to me. I just feel hopeless right now. Help me

Uploaded October 21, 2016

Word count: 539 words

I do not own any characters from Fullmetal Alchemist.

Q: But who cares anyways? I'm just a stupid girl who fell stupidly in love with an anime guy and wrote a stupid fanfiction.

A: Definitely not me.

I'm so mad at myself.