For The Love Of The God's (loki love story)

mistakes

Loki pov

"You know I really don't think that this is a good idea" lilly said as she continued to angrily pack her bags full of clothes and baby toys that she wouldn't need on earth.

"Come on love I'm positive it won't we that bad... besides you'll have jane there to keep you company while I'm gone and out working love... we have a chance at being slightly normal don't you want to take that chance?" I asked her. I truly believe that this move will be good for the two of us, the two od us to get to know eachother better and rediscover our love for one another.
I have to admit that I have not been the best husband lately, firstly I refused to allow us to have another child after all the disasters that we've had in the past I just don't want to go through any more pain or to lose another child again and secondly I may or may not have been particularly faithful and got caught.

"Fine then! Get a move on we shouldn't waste time! Although I don't see the point of me going since you've got your mistress back on earth!" Lilly started banging things into her suitcase.

"Lilly it was a mistake... a mistake that I deeply regret and a mistake that will never ever happen again" i said grabbing her hand and trying to make eye contact with her, she refused to look at me and snatched her hand away from me.

"I'll see you at the bifrost I have to collect some things from my room" she said lowly and picked up her suitcase and closed my chambers door softly behind her.

Its amazing how after all that I did to her in the past... that this would be the thing that would seem to destroy our marriage. Nonetheless I love lilly, my body and soul are hers to keep, to do with whatever she likes. Lilly holds my sanity in her delicate palms and she has no idea how powerful it is and how much power she has over me. Lilly could destroy me in seconds  and I wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

Lilly hates the idea of living on earth simply because she thinks that she's going to lose me to Natalie daughter lauren.
Lauren is a brave 30 year old, she has the same skills as her mother. It appears she's has the same taste in men as her mother. The night it happened, I was drunk, no I know that no excuse.
I did what I did and I slept with her and woke up the next morning to find her cuddling up to me.
I remember what she said to me.
"Oh last night your wife walked in on us... that's good it means now we don't have to tell her that your leaving her for me"
I've never been so horrified in my life.
Lilly agreed to see if we could make things work but these past months have not being going particularly well in fact lilly now sleeps in a different room altogether.

I sat down on my bed and held my face in my hands. Stupid loki you had the best wife possible and look what you've done.

"You know self pitty doesn't suit you loki" I quickly stood up and turned to see a heavily pregnant jane standing in the door way to my chambers.

"Sit down loki" she said softly as she walked to sit on the bed.

I was astonished that jane of all people would comfort me especially since Thor had refused to speak to me since he found out about my secret afair which is only fair since lilly is his younger sister.

"Loki you need to win her back... you don't have much time to do so... trust me I know the way lilly is feeling and she's just about ready to let go... if you want to save yourself, lilly and the marriage then win her back quick"

"Sometimes I think she'd be better of married to a better man" I said and jane smiled sympathetically.
"You know I used to think that too, but these past few months lilly has been hollow without you she just doesn't want to admit it and if you let go loki... she won't ever be herself again"
Jane,s speech had rendered me speechless.
Jane stood off the bed with my support and giggled.
"I think you two should of had another baby" she stated smiling.
"What and have twelve kids like you and Thor I laughed and jane scowled.

Lillys pov

A pen in my hand with a black ink pot next to me on my desk. I feel like writing my name on this contract. 52 years of solid marriage of good marriage. 52 years of being in love and wanting nothing more than to be with him.

I find now that I can nor live with him nor live without him, but yet here I am about to make the impossible decision.
A decision that I never thought I would have to make and yet I am being forced to.

My heart wrenches everytime I see him. All I want to do is run into his arms and let him love me over and over again but I find now that I am even unable to look at him and not to be reminded of the mistake he made.
Was it even a mistake? Did he ever truly love me? Will I ever be able to love him.

Damn you loki.

"Damn you!"