Playing With Fire || z.m

"Don't touch me."

ZAYN

I watch as she saunters out of Harry’s house, as slow as she can possibly walk, I swear. She pulls the passenger door open and gives a final wave to Harry as he closes the door. What is this perfect little angel act she’s putting on in front of him?

“I’m not getting in your fucking car.” She suddenly growls and slams the car door shut again. Right, so this is how it’s going to go is it? I watch as she storms down the drive way, yanks the security gate open and leaves.

“Bollocks.” I swear loudly, whacking the car into reverse and swing it off the drive way. I wind my window down, “Get in the car, Ellie.” I drive alongside her as she walks quickly down the empty street. So now she wants to pick up her pace!

“I’m not getting in a car with you.” She stops suddenly and I slam my breaks on. “What the fuck was that?” She slams her hands down on the frame of my car door and leans into the car slightly through the open window. “What is your game?”

“I haven’t got a game,” I begin.

“Bullshit.” She shouts. “I call bullshit!”

“I just don’t think Harry is the one for you.” I tell her. I’ve not seen this side to Ellie before. I know she has a temper. Her temper turns me on but this is just another level of pure anger.

She hits the roof of my car with the palm of her hand and lets out a frustrated moan. “What has that got to do with you?” She shouts and begins walking along the road again.

“Ellie, stop and just get in the car!” I shout after her. She’s starting to make me angry now. She doesn’t want to make me angry. Why am I speaking as though I’m the fucking hulk?

I follow her in the car as she tucks her hands in her coat pockets and keeps her head down. I can see she’s trying to calm down and probably trying to ignore me so I get bored and drive away. I’m not leaving her. Like hell am I leaving her. This neighbour hood is reasonably safe, and she isn’t my girlfriend but I’m not going to leave a female alone late at night.

“Ellie, please get in the car.” I try the polite, calm approach. Nope, nothing. “Ellie?” I call again. “Ellie, get in the god damn car!” I shout. I’ve been patient too long and she is really pushing my buttons now. I slam my breaks on the car and yank the hand break up, jumping out and running around the car to her. “Ellie!” I grab her arm and she turns around suddenly, back handing me right across the face.

“Don’t touch me.” She growls. Holy fuck! That girl has a good smack on her. The pain in my cheek is blinding and it takes me a minute to get myself together. “That is for everything! It’s over, Zayn, this whole thing is over! I am a horrible person, I accept that. I don’t have many friends and I am more often single than I am ever taken. I accept that I’m not a very nice person. But this…” She jabs a finger into my chest and then into her own. “This is just another level. I’m not after you for myself; I’m not trying to steal you from Perrie. She is a decent girl and she has done nothing but love you. Where as I just want someone to fuck.” She turns away from me and covers her face with her hands. Is she crying? “You are messing with me up here.” She points to her head as she turns back to face me. “What do you want from me, Zayn?”

“Lets get in the car and talk about this, shall we?”

“I’m not getting in your fucking car.” She laughs loudly.

“Alright, Ellie, we’ll do this on the street then, we’ll have this discussion out here in the cold shall we? I don’t want you as mine. I have Perrie and you are right, she loves me and I am fucking her over. I am using you for sex while she is away.”

“Then what was that at Harry’s tonight?” she gasps.

“I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you!” And that is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have Perrie. I have a great relationship with Perrie. I love her like there is no tomorrow. I don’t love Ellie. Far from it. “There, is that what you want to hear.”

“You’re an arsehole, Zayn Malik.” Her voice cracks and she starts to walk away from me.

“Stop walking away from me!”

“This conversation is finished, Zayn. Go home and leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving you. I might be an arsehole but I’m not leaving you alone at night.” She carries on walking so I get back into my car and follow her down the road again. “I’m sorry for what happened at Harry’s.” I call out.

“No you aren’t.” She laughs.

“Alright, I’m only slightly sorry.” I admit.

“Do you not realise how much you embarrassed me?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m sorry for embarrassing you.” She carries on walking along the pavement. I can see a frown etched onto her forehead. I’m in two minds about what I did tonight. Part of me is sorry, part of me feels bad at pissing her off, for making her mad at me. But then the other part of me wants to remind her I could do a lot worse, go a lot further when it comes to getting my own way. “You need to stop seeing Harry.”

“You need to stop telling me what to do.” She shoots back at me.

“No, Ellie, you don’t understand,” I begin.

“No, Zayn it is you who doesn’t understand. Leave me the fuck alone! I am ending this whole fling, okay? I am ending it and I am going to be true to Harry. He is a nice guy and he doesn’t deserve me doing this to him. Enough is enough. We carry on, from now on, as just neighbours. We acknowledge each other politely as we pass on the street, we make friendly conversation if ever we see each other through Harry but most importantly we never speak of this again.” She keeps walking as she rants, waving her hands around, angrily.

“How can you be so selfish, Zayn? You think you can just pick me up and put me down when it suits you? You think that much of your self that you expect me to wait around while you don’t want me, while you are playing happy families with Perrie?” 

I have nothing else to say to her. Instead I stay silent and carry on driving along side her until we arrive home.

I sit in the car until she has safely let herself into her house. I don’t really know what to think after that encounter. Does she mean what she said? Is she seriously ending things? I am being selfish but I don’t care. I want Perrie. Perrie is my number one but I also want Ellie for when I can’t have Perrie. I do expect Ellie to wait around for me. I want Ellie to wait around for me. I don’t want Ellie seeing Harry, I don’t want to listen to Harry saying her name, I don’t want him telling me about things they do together or funny things she said. What have I done?

How have I got myself into this mess?