Playing With Fire || z.m

"We're just a little fractured."

Dear Readers,, I am SO sorry about the long wait, I hope you are still hanging in there?! It’s been a busy few weeks for me, I’ve been away visiting NYC (beautiful, btw, anyone been??) and before that, just life.., and a severe case of writers block. Aahhh! BUT I thinkz I’ve gotz it back. Hit me up if you’re still reading, it helps me write! love love love xo

ZAYN

As Liam slams the door shut behind me, I know this is going to be it. He forced us all into a room for a ‘band meeting’ after we’d all been photographed together outside our Management’s building. Absolute pleb. Only Liam would come up with that idea. ‘Band meeting’ my arse.

“What the fuck, Zayn?” Liam suddenly yells at me. I can’t even turn around to look at him. I know all the boys are going to let me have it, I know they’ll all give me a bollocking. “What the fuck is going on? You tell us the truth now, because I’m sick to death of hearing ten million different stories.”

“I fucked Ellie.” I sigh, turning around, finally. Liam’s stood in the middle of the room looking absolutely fuming; Niall’s leant against the wall looking at his feet, Louis’ perched on a chair next to Niall and Harry has sat himself in an armchair in the corner, slouched back, staring at the ceiling. “I fucked Ellie, okay, it was way before Harry came along, but we didn’t stop. We carried on fucking, okay?”

“Wanker.” Louis mutters.

“Why would you do that? You cheated on Perrie, why cheat on Perrie? Have you seen her? Why would you cheat on that?” Liam almost laughs at me.

“That’s none of your business, Liam. It’s not all about looks. Ellie is also just as good looking as Perrie. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“But it has Zayn! It has got everything to do with me, it has everything to do with all of us. All of us get the backlash for this! All of our relationships get dragged out by the press.” Liam takes a couple of steps towards me and I automatically step backwards. Although Liam is the nicest guy in the world, when he gets angry you really don’t wanna be around. And he’s bigger than me. He could tear me apart if he wanted. “Cheating on Perrie is one thing but to carry on when Ellie got with Harry,”

“Pair of fucking wankers!” Louis chimes in.

“Alright guys, calm down, you really don’t need to shout about this.” Niall pushes himself away from the wall and steps closer to Liam.

“We do need to shout about this though, Niall, do you not see how much of a big deal this is?” Liam’s cheeks are pink, and I watch as he rubs his eyes with his palms in frustration.

“Prick.” I hear from Louis.

“Yeah, I do, but its Zayn’s issue. Yeah, we will have shit dragged up about us but we’ve all made mistakes causing the press to pull up old stories about Zayn,”

“Are you all blind?” Liam suddenly shouts. “His stupid actions have repercussions on all of us.” Liam steps towards me holding his finger out to me, rather threateningly.

“As do all our stupid actions, but Zayn never moans, does he?” Niall shouts back causing silence to fall over the room. Damn straight, Niall, I never moan when any of the other boys gets in trouble with the public. I never moan when the media find old shitty stories about me because of their mistakes. Yeah I may have totally trumped them this time with a few dirty secrets falling out of my closet but lets just remember who is the focus in all of this.

“This is me who has to deal with this, Liam.” I begin quietly.

“Oh, twatface wants to talk now.” Mutters Louis, still sat on the same chair.

I ignore him, “This is my issue, my mistake. It was me who was sleeping with someone behind everyone’s backs. It’s me that all the papers are writing about. Not you, Liam. Me. Yeah it is hard on all of us as we are a band, a team. A team, Liam, yeah? A team sticks together, helps each other, protects each other. I protect all of you lot, so help me out here, will you?”

“Can we just remember that a victim of this is part of the team? You broke the whole ‘team’ thing, Zayn, when you shagged his girlfriend.” Oh bollocks Liam. Bollocks.

“Dick.” More useless input from Louis.

“This is not okay, Zayn. Harry is your friend. In fact he isn’t just your friend. We all have something a lot stronger than friendship, we are brothers. You cannot mess with that, it is not okay to mess with that.” Liam steps closer to me again, backing me towards the far wall.

“Oh, Liam, I wanted Ellie whether she was with Harry or not. It’s not like I had some sort of personal vendetta against the guy. It could have been you or anyone else. No offence guys.” I hold my hands up in defence. “Harry, I’m sorry, mate, it wasn’t personal.”

“Too fucking late, shitarse.” Louis, again.

“Guys, seriously, we all make mistakes. Zayn has been man enough to own up to it and apologise.” Niall tries again but Liam just ignores him.

“Why didn’t you both finish your relationships?” Liam begins again.

“There are so many questions, aren’t there Liam!” I suddenly lose my rag, yelling at him, letting silence take over the room yet again. “So many what if’s. I could have done it all differently, yes, and if I could turn back time I would do so many things differently. But what’s done is done. What am I supposed to do now? Tell me, Liam, seeing as you seem to think you run this band!”

“I don’t think I run this band I just think you’re a fucking idiot.” He shoots back, stepping quickly towards me.

“Oh seriously, you lot. Shut the feck up!!” Niall near enough screams, causing Liam to skid to a halt just before he reaches me. “I think we’re done here, with this arguement. We’re all still a team, okay? We’re just a little fractured at the moment, thanks to Zayn. Oh, just because I’m calming this shit down, does not mean I am on your side, arsehole.” Oh bloody great. Cheers, Niall!

I watch as Liam storms towards the door, Louis and Niall hot on his tail.

“So let’s have a team vote.” A voice we’d all forgotten about pipes up from the corner of the room. The four of us freeze, slowly looking round at Harry who is still sat in the armchair, still gazing at the ceiling. “Raise your hand if you want to see Zayn out of the band.” He sticks his left hand high in the air. None of us move, and part of me can’t actually believe he is being so petty. The other part of me wants to laugh.

Liam raises his hand, too.

“What the fuck? Are you actually kidding me? Can I just mention one word… Contracts?!” I push past Niall, Louis and then Liam, giving him a good shove with my shoulder, forgetting about the size difference and the muscle difference between the two of us and only end up catapulting myself into the door frame. Nice one, Zayn.